The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) declared their support this week for Stanford University School of Medicine’s recent decision to replace the mice in their research laboratory with graduate students, according to enthusiastic sources. 

“We are very excited to see this change. These beautiful creatures have gone unheard for too long. It’s time to release them from their prisons,” said PETA representative Chloe Williams, who further claimed that grad students don’t possess the mental capacity to experience pain or suffering. “Animals can’t consent to this experimentation. But these students not only signed up for it willingly, they paid thousands for the opportunity to participate.”

Students’ support of the decision was nearly universal, though more subdued.

“I guess they technically gave us a choice in the matter,” said Aiden Nelson, a graduate student in the school’s psychology department. “But if I didn’t volunteer, I’d have to write a 2000-word paper to make up that portion of my grade, and who has the time for that? So it’s either another all-nighter to research a paper that I know the professors won’t even read, or I just take these pills? What fool would choose the research paper?”

“Plus, the side effects have been pretty minimal. The appetite loss I get from the constant nausea has freed up an hour each day that used to be wasted eating meals. That’s more time to work on my thesis!”

Researchers in the lab explained that the motivation for the change was mostly based on cost, not ethics.

“This decision was made by a budget committee,” said Keith Haverford, head of Stanford’s drug research lab. “It used to cost us $600 per year to feed and house a single mouse, whereas our student volunteers are usually capable of feeding themselves at no additional cost to the department. To be honest, this whole PETA thing was a surprise. We really don’t care about these mice or their quality of life. If we gave a shit what PETA thought, we wouldn’t have been poisoning animals in the first place.”

As of press time, Haverford had been granted approval by the university’s ethics board to conduct a large-scale LD50 trial on student volunteers. 

The post PETA Celebrates Researchers’ Decision to Replace Laboratory Mice With Grad Students appeared first on dnatured journal.

Marie Curie has been hailed as “The Mother of Modern Physics” for her study of radioactivity. But Curie’s careless discovery of radium was instrumental in the eventual radiation-poisoning deaths of dozens of watch factory workers we now know as the Radium Girls. It defies logic that the discovery of such a dangerous element would be celebrated as a landmark moment for women in STEM. Without radium, there would have been no Radium Girls. 

In the early 20th century, radium was used in phosphorescent paints on watch dials. Curie’s passion project created a severe and unnecessary danger for the factory workers who were encouraged by managers to shape the tips of brushes with their mouths. This paint-licking practice led to the ingestion of fatal doses of radioactive material. Yet Curie’s research into the responsible element earned her Nobel Prizes in chemistry and physics. This trailblazer for women in STEM also trailblazed some extremely dangerous conditions for women in the workplace. It would be ironic if it weren’t so tragic. 

The grim reality is that Marie Curie led the carefree life of a typical celebrity scientist. She knew the risks but didn’t care. Curie’s laissez-faire attitude towards the unsafe handling of radioactive materials not only caused the suffering of the Radium Girls, it ultimately led to her own premature demise. Curie’s remains were buried in a lead-lined casket due to the high amount of radiation emanating from her body. Her contaminated papers and research equipment are still kept in a lead shielded room that visitors must sign a waiver to enter. Death itself was not enough to stop Curie from harming others in her quest for knowledge. 

This abrupt retirement was a curse that Curie shared with an entire clan of scientists. The extended Curie family has received five Nobel Prizes, as well as several more cases of fatal radiation poisoning. In fact, the only member of the Curie family of researchers who managed to not die prematurely from exposure was Marie Curie’s husband, Pierre, who was run over by a horse-drawn carriage before he, too, could be victimized by Curie’s research.

The post OpEd: If Marie Curie is Such a Feminist Icon, Then Why Did the Element She Discover Poison All Those Women at the Watch Factory? appeared first on dnatured journal.