Plants, which provide oxygen, prevent flooding and are the basis of the earth’s food chain, are being slaughtered in record numbers, but environmental groups are convinced they just need to soften their image.

Insert Trunky, the adorable leafy mascot with big doe eyes and pudgy cheeks.

“When I saw the small tree character “Baby Groot” doing a little dance during Guardians of the Galaxy, I knew we could harness that energy to make plants as popular as pandas,” said environmental scientist Dr. Holly Madiera.

Trunky makes soft cooing noises and bats his eyelashes at the viewer to make him “as endearing as possible.”

“People don’t understand that deforestation and monoculture are destroying the planet – and frankly nobody cares,” Dr. Madiera sighs. “It’s so easy to convince people to save sea turtles. Have you SEEN a sea turtle? They’re so damn cute. That ad campaign writes itself.” Dr. Madiera takes a long pause. “Nobody cries looking at a field of soy.”

“People are up in arms over polar bear rugs, where is the outrage over mahogany tables?” she asked.

Behind Dr. Madiera is a vision board covered with word association webs, filled with the phrases “big EYES? wet nose! fuzziness?” and something the board refers to as “squish appeal.” She gestures to it with a sigh.

“This has been a years-long intensive project designed to create the world’s cutest plant. Maybe people will be more conscious of their eating habits and their environmental impact if old wood forests have…” she checks her notes, “snoots and… pupper noses.”

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