Wow! This Paleontologist Working From Home Just Discovered A New Dinosaur Species With Bare Foot

Bishop, B. et al

Though the quarantine has resulted in many people being unable to keep up with work and just catch up with reading and information in their field, some dedicated scientists are still working to uncover new information for future generations, even from the confines of their own homes. This includes Garnet Tilton, a Paleontology graduate who, while walking in her daughter Lottie Tilton’s room, stepped on a painful new species of dinosaur made of hardened plastic.

Unlike most fossils, this dinosaur was discovered not buried in sediment, but rather laying on a shag carpeting rug. Describing the conditions, Tilton & Tilton (2020) referred to the environment as “RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOTHER EFFING FLOOR,” which, per her comments, was also where she has previously discovered some painfully sharp rocketships. 

This interesting find was not apparently expected in spite of this, however, as studies confirm that that structure of the dinosaur’s skeleton is not bone, but rather “[…]ING LEGOs.” This is the first known dinosaur to have adapted a skeleton made entirely of plastic, as well as hunting only the feet of its targets in the manner described in Tilton & Tilton (2020) as “WENT RIGHT THROUGH [one’s] FREAKING FOOT, LOTTIE.” 

At the present time, the recently-discovered theropod has yet to be named, with the only possible name ascribed being that of “A COMPLETE FREAKING NUISANCE! LOTTIE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.” Tilton’s daughter and co-author, 6-year-old Lottie Tilton, states that they are discussing calling it a species of tyrannosaur, since “that’s what the box says.”

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About Author

Ben Bishop

Ben Bishop is a TESOL/Linguistics Masters Candidate at the Online Ball State University. He writes about syntax, literary theory, and other extremely exciting things while scratching his dog and speaking to her in a decidedly odd voice.

About Ben Bishop 4 Articles
Ben Bishop is a TESOL/Linguistics Masters Candidate at the Online Ball State University. He writes about syntax, literary theory, and other extremely exciting things while scratching his dog and speaking to her in a decidedly odd voice.