Protocols Archives » dnatured journal

September 17, 2019

Protocol: How To Get A Beach Body With Just A Few Centuries Of Erosion

July 15, 2019 Lexa Graham

Protocol: Explaining That The Moon Does In Fact Rotate To Your Relatives

April 26, 2019 Rebecca Reeds

With the rise in conspiracy theories, so rises your extended family’s interest and “knowledge” in all things space! There may be a point during your next family gather where someone will proclaim “The moon doesn’t rotate! Otherwise we’d see the dark side!” Congratulations! It is now your job to provide a simple but informative lesson on gravity and centripetal force.

Protocol: Transforming Funding Cuts Into More Efficient Mental Breakdowns

November 15, 2018 Editor

The loss of desperately needed money can easily be converted into an increased stress load with the right tools.

Protocol: Strategizing Office Hours For Minimal Student Interaction

October 17, 2018 Lexa Graham

Our protocol as followed leads to a 92% decrease in student interaction so you can spend more time crying into a petri dish.

Protocol: Calibrating The Office Coffee To Match The Office Sadness

September 24, 2018 Lexa Graham

Our protocol ensures that the mouthfeel of your morning coffee requires exactly as much teeth grinding as your 10am meeting.