“I almost gave myself regular depression working on this,” admitted one scientist, “but thankfully it is now the robot, not me, that wants to kill itself.”
Despite the general public’s acceptance that the egg-laying mammalian monstrosity evolved naturally, the group fears their discovery may be inevitable.
It cuts down on calories, saturated fat, and cholesterol by as much as ‘some,’”
She began by giving everyone a discount code for her “Googl-E. coli” dolls, which were just pom-poms with googly eyes”
You thought scientists were always right???
Just a quick hit of your graph’s flawless curves will allow me to survive another year of statistical insignificance!
“They definitely worked on their upper bodies, but their legs are like a bundle of pine needles.”
He insists that his interest is purely professional
she has now diagnosed as many mental illnesses in the past month that would take a trained psychologist at least a decade
“If you want the satisfaction of having outlived virtually all of your friends and family, be sure to eat only fruit, vegetables, nuts, leafy greens and water.”
“83% is a decent enough mark to base the rest of my life on.”
Since it’s mostly plastic at this point, maybe we just give up on calling it The Ocean
“That kid will never learn how to get nutrients for itself if Cheryl keeps this up.”
“We knew something was up when we saw used hypodermic needles all over the lawn,” said police spokeswoman Carol O’Rourke.
Critics are taking aim at the solar industry after an investigation revealed that no woman has ever spoken on any of the world’s solar panels.
“Trust me, you don’t need to remember more than four seconds back to figure out that existence is suffering”
“I worry that the inclusion of “aromatic hydrocarbons” implies the issue was mostly due to their strong smell, and not the extremely high risk of cancer.”
Early humans would commonly call their Neanderthal sexual partners “exotic,” apparently believing that was somehow an okay thing to say.
“We were facing a tough quarter, and we needed a revenue booster, and someone suggested Vitamin D as a joke”
Scientists warn Shelley could get so hot that she becomes a realtor, or a pharmaceutical rep.
You might not remember when Russia launched Laika into space in 1957 and left her for dead. But Laika remembers.
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