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October 11, 2024

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Most cited

Protocol: How To Passive-Aggressively Let Undergrads Know There Is A CORRECT Way To Take Pipette Tips From The Box
Research

PhD Student Celebrates Paying Thousands Of Dollars To Write A Paper Only 17 People Will Read
Biology

17-Year-Old Lab Student Somehow Trusted With Two-Million Dollar Machine
Most cited

Grad Student Who Used Any Excuse To Avoid Lab Work Now Reminiscing About All The Experiments They Could Be Doing
Medicine

Teens Caught At House Party Getting Vaccinated Out Of Their Fucking Minds

Oops! School’s Periodic Table Is Missing All The Newly Discovered Elements And Also Important Ones Like Carbon

September 26, 2024

10 Mild Inconveniences To Wish On That Researcher Who Beat You Out On That Grant

September 25, 2024

Institutional Animal Welfare Group Proposes Humane Endpoints for Ph.D. Students

September 19, 2024

Woke! This Scientist Of Color Just Got Asked To Be On An Unpaid Diversity Committee

September 17, 2024

Grad Student Desperate To Finish Experiments Smuggles Electron Microscope Home

September 16, 2024

Professor Studying The Effects Of Poverty On Depression Still Can’t Figure Out Why His Grad Students Are So Unhappy

September 16, 2024

Latest News & Views

Vengeful Gods Growing Increasingly Frustrated That Climate Change Receiving All The Credit For Their Wrath And Smiting

Yas Queen! Climate Scientists Say We Should Prepare For An Entire Hot Girl Century!!!

Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint

Latest Research

Institutional Animal Welfare Group Proposes Humane Endpoints for Ph.D. Students

September 19, 2024

Woke! This Scientist Of Color Just Got Asked To Be On An Unpaid Diversity Committee

September 17, 2024

Grad Student Desperate To Finish Experiments Smuggles Electron Microscope Home

September 16, 2024

More dnatured

Baby Scientists Discussing Possibility Of Mommy Just Being Behind Hands

Lab Libs! Researchers Have Uncovered A Link Between [Something You Love] And [The Worst Thing You Can Think Of]

Sparrow Bragging About T-Rex Ancestry Actually Descended From Some Bitch-Ass Lizard

A local sparrow was stunned after a DNA test revealed that 90% of his genetics are from something called a “Tonga Ground Skink” and not from a Tyrannosaurus rex, as his family has claimed for generations.

QUIZ: Should We Try To Solve The Climate Crisis Or Just Let A Few People Make As Much Money As Possible In The Little Time We Have Left?

Mitochondria Confirm They’re Also The Power Bottom Of The Cell

Super Bacteria Mock New Antibiotics By Spelling Out “That All You Got?” Under Microscope

The super bacteria call the microbiologist’s attempts at assassinating their colony “pathetic”

Aww! This New Line of Bacteria Scented Candles Will Make Your Place Smell Just Like The Warm Room That Hasn’t Been Cleaned In Decades

Quiet Quitting? This Line Of Antibiotics Stopped Working!

Is It A Mass Extinction Or Is God Calling All The Cuties Home?

Killer Asteroid’s Lawyer Gets Charges Reduced To Meteoroid Manslaughter

September 12, 2023

Alien From Venus Evaporates After One Minute In Phoenix, Arizona

August 24, 2023

Awesome! These Cell Cultures Waited Until Friday at 5pm to Need Passaging

Cool! Snakes Tired of Being Poached for Boots Are Evolving Skin To Look Cheap and Tasteless

Experimental Psychology Professor Assigns 500 Page Essay On Sleep Deprivation Due Tomorrow

Wow! This Newly Discovered Dinosaur Was Just Elected Nation’s Youngest Senator

Lonely Perseverance Rover Fires Up Tinder To Begin Search Signs of Martian Love Life

Scientists Confirm Sex With A Neanderthal Would Have Been Fucking Mind-blowing

Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean

Protocol: How To Use Data Science To Prove Your Roommate Is Slacking On Dishes

February 7, 2021

Pandas Roll in Horse Feces to Keep Warm, Announce Zoo Koalas, Snickering

February 2, 2021

Clinically Depressed Man Can’t Wait to Return to Pre-COVID Lifestyle of Avoiding Human Contact and Rarely Leaving Home

February 1, 2021

Whoopsie! Researcher Accidentally Submits Paper To Science Total Landscaping

November 17, 2020

Lazy Cell Still Gets Mom To Fold Its Proteins

October 18, 2020

Retro! This Hipster Chemist Only Pipettes By Mouth And Now He Is Very Sick

October 5, 2020

Grad Student Desperate For Feedback Thrilled To Receive “K.” From Supervisor After Just 3 Months

September 27, 2020

Whoops! This Research Chemist Forgot To Add “But Not For Drugs” At The End Of Their Google Search And Now They’re On A Watch List

September 15, 2020

Bankrupt Company Forced To Sell Customer’s Data Just To Afford Executive Bonuses

August 27, 2020

Scientific Baby Names To Help Your Newborn Get Noticed By The Ivy League

August 24, 2020

Study Confirms Americans Will Believe Anything Said By People Wearing White Coats, As Long As They’re Not Doctors Or Scientists

August 12, 2020

Scientists Agree To Only Play God With Lifeforms That Were Likely To Worship Them Anyways

Open Letter From A Lab Rat: Please Remove The Tumour You Genetically Engineered Into My Anus And Explain Yourselves

How To Power Through A Pandemic Because Capitalism Demands It

Whoa! This New Fluorescent Antibody Is Just As Dim As The Previous One, But Twice As Expensive!

World’s Most Powerful Supercomputer Capable Of Calculating BOOBIES To Seven Digits

Scientists Now Say Diplodocus May Have Evolved Whiplike Tail To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom

Wow! This University Is So Committed To Improving Mental Health It’s Making Student Volunteers Help Each Other For Free

Most cited

Theoretical Physicist Travels Back In Time To Persuade Younger Self To Go Into The Trades

Wow! This Paleontologist Working From Home Just Discovered A New Dinosaur Species With Bare Foot

Grad Student Desperate For Feedback Thrilled To Receive “K.” From Supervisor After Just 3 Months

Feminist Heroes! NASA Releases Stunning New Photos Of Mars Without Makeup

Latest Issue

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Forensic Science Prodigy Pronounces Man “Hella Dead”

March 23, 2019
Protocol: How To Get A Bigger Tax Return By Naming Your Bacteria As Dependents

April 25, 2021
Success! Student Aces Thesis Defense After Harshest Committee Member Can’t Figure Out How To Unmute Mic

April 14, 2020
Scientists Say The Ocean Now Contains So Much Plastic That We Should Call It “The Plastic” And Be Happy With How Much Ocean It Contains

July 2, 2019
OpEd: If Marie Curie is Such a Feminist Icon, Then Why Did the Element She Discover Poison All Those Women at the Watch Factory?

March 28, 2024
Report: Grad school make u feel real dumb and sad :(

September 9, 2019
Exhausted Ecologists Announce New Policy Of Only Saving Species That Spark Joy

October 10, 2019
Feminist Heroes! NASA Releases Stunning New Photos Of Mars Without Makeup

April 7, 2019
Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean

March 2, 2021
Marine Biologists Confirm Mermaid That Washed Up On Shore Had Stomach Full Of Thing-A-Ma-Bobs

September 13, 2024
Snubbed? Bacteria That Were The Focus Of Student’s Entire Degree Strangely Absent From Thesis Acknowledgements

January 6, 2022
6 Ways To Say ‘I Don’t Have Any New Data’ At Your Next Lab Meeting

July 21, 2024
QUIZ: Should We Try To Solve The Climate Crisis Or Just Let A Few People Make As Much Money As Possible In The Little Time We Have Left?

June 8, 2024
Nice! Graduate Health Plan Removed Dental But Promises Something Called a “Fitbit Therapist”

June 11, 2023

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dnatured is a satirical scientific journal with impact factor 69. We strive to publish the most paper cutting scientific research, protocols and news.

Copyright 2019

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