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April 24, 2025

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Most cited

Success! Student Aces Thesis Defense After Harshest Committee Member Can’t Figure Out How To Unmute Mic
Biology

17-Year-Old Lab Student Somehow Trusted With Two-Million Dollar Machine
Medicine

Teens Caught At House Party Getting Vaccinated Out Of Their Fucking Minds
Biology

Forensic Science Prodigy Pronounces Man “Hella Dead”
Engineering

Incredible! These Military Engineers Created An Invisibility Cloak Made Of Women Over 40

Genius? This Lab Is Funded Entirely By Cashing In Life Insurance Policies On Lab Rats

February 10, 2025

Habitat Expansion? Graduate Students Found Living in a Cave Near Campus

February 6, 2025

Whoa! This New Fluorescent Antibody Is Just As Dim As The Previous One, But Twice As Expensive!

January 1, 2025

Bold Hypothesis of “This Will Totally Be My Year!” Not Supported By The Data

January 1, 2025

Astronomers Warn That Grad Student’s “Papers to Read” Folder Is Gathering So Much Density That It Could Collapse Into A Black Hole

November 16, 2024

17-Year-Old Lab Student Somehow Trusted With Two-Million Dollar Machine

November 14, 2024

“I only read the pre-lab five minutes ago, I don’t know how this thing works at all. It’s the size of a rhino and apparently pretty fragile.”

Latest News & Views

Institutional Animal Welfare Group Proposes Humane Endpoints for Ph.D. Students

September 19, 2024

Teens Caught At House Party Getting Vaccinated Out Of Their Fucking Minds

September 16, 2024

“We knew something was up when we saw used hypodermic needles all over the lawn,” said police spokeswoman Carol O’Rourke.

Hottie Alert! The James Webb Telescope Just Found A New Heavenly Body That Is Absolutely Jacked

September 14, 2024

Latest Research

Habitat Expansion? Graduate Students Found Living in a Cave Near Campus

February 6, 2025

Bold Hypothesis of “This Will Totally Be My Year!” Not Supported By The Data

January 1, 2025

Astronomers Warn That Grad Student’s “Papers to Read” Folder Is Gathering So Much Density That It Could Collapse Into A Black Hole

November 16, 2024

More dnatured

Marine Biologists Confirm Mermaid That Washed Up On Shore Had Stomach Full Of Thing-A-Ma-Bobs

September 13, 2024

God Not Sure How to Tell Humanity That E. Coli Is The Species Made in His Own Image

Vengeful Gods Growing Increasingly Frustrated That Climate Change Receiving All The Credit For Their Wrath And Smiting

Yas Queen! Climate Scientists Say We Should Prepare For An Entire Hot Girl Century!!!

Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint

Baby Scientists Discussing Possibility Of Mommy Just Being Behind Hands

Lab Libs! Researchers Have Uncovered A Link Between [Something You Love] And [The Worst Thing You Can Think Of]

Sparrow Bragging About T-Rex Ancestry Actually Descended From Some Bitch-Ass Lizard

A local sparrow was stunned after a DNA test revealed that 90% of his genetics are from something called a “Tonga Ground Skink” and not from a Tyrannosaurus rex, as his family has claimed for generations.

QUIZ: Should We Try To Solve The Climate Crisis Or Just Let A Few People Make As Much Money As Possible In The Little Time We Have Left?

Mitochondria Confirm They’re Also The Power Bottom Of The Cell

Super Bacteria Mock New Antibiotics By Spelling Out “That All You Got?” Under Microscope

The super bacteria call the microbiologist’s attempts at assassinating their colony “pathetic”

Aww! This New Line of Bacteria Scented Candles Will Make Your Place Smell Just Like The Warm Room That Hasn’t Been Cleaned In Decades

Quiet Quitting? This Line Of Antibiotics Stopped Working!

Is It A Mass Extinction Or Is God Calling All The Cuties Home?

Killer Asteroid’s Lawyer Gets Charges Reduced To Meteoroid Manslaughter

September 12, 2023

Alien From Venus Evaporates After One Minute In Phoenix, Arizona

August 24, 2023

Awesome! These Cell Cultures Waited Until Friday at 5pm to Need Passaging

Cool! Snakes Tired of Being Poached for Boots Are Evolving Skin To Look Cheap and Tasteless

Experimental Psychology Professor Assigns 500 Page Essay On Sleep Deprivation Due Tomorrow

Wow! This Newly Discovered Dinosaur Was Just Elected Nation’s Youngest Senator

Lonely Perseverance Rover Fires Up Tinder To Begin Search Signs of Martian Love Life

Scientists Confirm Sex With A Neanderthal Would Have Been Fucking Mind-blowing

Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean

Protocol: How To Use Data Science To Prove Your Roommate Is Slacking On Dishes

February 7, 2021

Pandas Roll in Horse Feces to Keep Warm, Announce Zoo Koalas, Snickering

February 2, 2021

Clinically Depressed Man Can’t Wait to Return to Pre-COVID Lifestyle of Avoiding Human Contact and Rarely Leaving Home

February 1, 2021

Whoopsie! Researcher Accidentally Submits Paper To Science Total Landscaping

November 17, 2020

Lazy Cell Still Gets Mom To Fold Its Proteins

October 18, 2020

Retro! This Hipster Chemist Only Pipettes By Mouth And Now He Is Very Sick

October 5, 2020

Grad Student Desperate For Feedback Thrilled To Receive “K.” From Supervisor After Just 3 Months

September 27, 2020

Whoops! This Research Chemist Forgot To Add “But Not For Drugs” At The End Of Their Google Search And Now They’re On A Watch List

September 15, 2020

Bankrupt Company Forced To Sell Customer’s Data Just To Afford Executive Bonuses

August 27, 2020

Scientific Baby Names To Help Your Newborn Get Noticed By The Ivy League

August 24, 2020

Study Confirms Americans Will Believe Anything Said By People Wearing White Coats, As Long As They’re Not Doctors Or Scientists

August 12, 2020

Scientists Agree To Only Play God With Lifeforms That Were Likely To Worship Them Anyways

Open Letter From A Lab Rat: Please Remove The Tumour You Genetically Engineered Into My Anus And Explain Yourselves

Most cited

Hospitals Beg Public To Stop Panic Buying Medical Ventilators

Protocol: How To Encrypt Your Lab Notebook Using The Power Of Shitty Handwriting

Protocol: How To Passive-Aggressively Let Undergrads Know There Is A CORRECT Way To Take Pipette Tips From The Box

“We Condemn Racism In All Forms,” Says University Founded By Racists That Still Has Buildings Named After Notorious Racists

Latest Issue

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Protocol: How To Get A Cute, Mid-Tier Journal To Notice You

July 25, 2024
OpEd: If Marie Curie is Such a Feminist Icon, Then Why Did the Element She Discover Poison All Those Women at the Watch Factory?

March 28, 2024
Open Letter From A Lab Rat: Please Remove The Tumour You Genetically Engineered Into My Anus And Explain Yourselves

July 27, 2020
Protocol: How To Convince Your Date To Come Back To Your Lab Because You Have A Timepoint To Finish

April 19, 2024
QUIZ: Should We Try To Solve The Climate Crisis Or Just Let A Few People Make As Much Money As Possible In The Little Time We Have Left?

June 8, 2024
Marine Biologists Confirm Mermaid That Washed Up On Shore Had Stomach Full Of Thing-A-Ma-Bobs

September 13, 2024
Hospitals Beg Public To Stop Panic Buying Medical Ventilators

March 15, 2020
Protocol: How To Get A Bigger Tax Return By Naming Your Bacteria As Dependents

April 25, 2021
Report: Grad school make u feel real dumb and sad :(

September 9, 2019
New Book On Dunning-Kruger Effect Includes Complementary Mirror

April 6, 2021
Nice! Graduate Health Plan Removed Dental But Promises Something Called a “Fitbit Therapist”

June 11, 2023
Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint

July 23, 2024
Feminist Heroes! NASA Releases Stunning New Photos Of Mars Without Makeup

April 7, 2019
“I’m Gonna be More Proactive and Hardworking!” Announces Grad Student About to Screw Everything Up

November 10, 2021

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dnatured is a satirical scientific journal with impact factor 69. We strive to publish the most paper cutting scientific research, protocols and news.

Copyright 2019

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