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June 9, 2023

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Research

Researcher Excited For Decades Of Research To Be Completely Misinterpreted By Media
Biology

Mitochondria Confirm They’re Also The Power Bottom Of The Cell
Chemistry

Pre-Med Student Tearfully Deletes “Aspiring Doctor 🩺” From Instagram Bio After First Organic Chemistry Midterm
Most cited

Success! Student Aces Thesis Defense After Harshest Committee Member Can’t Figure Out How To Unmute Mic
Biology

Scientist Falling For The Very Virus He Swore To Destroy

Protocol: How To Convince Your Date To Come Back To Your Lab Because You Have A Timepoint To Finish

Protocol: How To Encrypt Your Lab Notebook Using The Power Of Shitty Handwriting

Climate Scientists Say Rising Sea Levels Are Either Caused By Climate Change Or A Bunch Of People Getting Into The Water At The Same Time

Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint

Aww! Saturn Spends 4 Billionth Year With Ring But No Wedding

Astronomers Admit Pretty Much All Constellations Look Like Penises To Them

February 27, 2023

Latest News & Views

Wow! This Newly Discovered Dinosaur Was Just Elected Nation’s Youngest Senator

Lonely Perseverance Rover Fires Up Tinder To Begin Search Signs of Martian Love Life

Scientists Confirm Sex With A Neanderthal Would Have Been Fucking Mind-blowing

Latest Research

Protocol: How To Encrypt Your Lab Notebook Using The Power Of Shitty Handwriting

Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint

Phew! Physicists Say That, Theoretically, There Must Be At Least One Universe Where You Are Thriving

October 7, 2022

More dnatured

Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean

Protocol: How To Use Data Science To Prove Your Roommate Is Slacking On Dishes

February 7, 2021

Pandas Roll in Horse Feces to Keep Warm, Announce Zoo Koalas, Snickering

February 2, 2021

Clinically Depressed Man Can’t Wait to Return to Pre-COVID Lifestyle of Avoiding Human Contact and Rarely Leaving Home

February 1, 2021

Whoopsie! Researcher Accidentally Submits Paper To Science Total Landscaping

November 17, 2020

Lazy Cell Still Gets Mom To Fold Its Proteins

October 18, 2020

Retro! This Hipster Chemist Only Pipettes By Mouth And Now He Is Very Sick

October 5, 2020

Grad Student Desperate For Feedback Thrilled To Receive “K.” From Supervisor After Just 3 Months

September 27, 2020

Whoops! This Research Chemist Forgot To Add “But Not For Drugs” At The End Of Their Google Search And Now They’re On A Watch List

September 15, 2020

Bankrupt Company Forced To Sell Customer’s Data Just To Afford Executive Bonuses

August 27, 2020

Scientific Baby Names To Help Your Newborn Get Noticed By The Ivy League

August 24, 2020

Study Confirms Americans Will Believe Anything Said By People Wearing White Coats, As Long As They’re Not Doctors Or Scientists

August 12, 2020

Aww! This New Line of Bacteria Scented Candles Will Make Your Place Smell Just Like The Warm Room That Hasn’t Been Cleaned In Decades

August 10, 2020

Scientists Agree To Only Play God With Lifeforms That Were Likely To Worship Them Anyways

Open Letter From A Lab Rat: Please Remove The Tumour You Genetically Engineered Into My Anus And Explain Yourselves

How To Power Through A Pandemic Because Capitalism Demands It

Whoa! This New Fluorescent Antibody Is Just As Dim As The Previous One, But Twice As Expensive!

World’s Most Powerful Supercomputer Capable Of Calculating BOOBIES To Seven Digits

Scientists Now Say Diplodocus May Have Evolved Whiplike Tail To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom

Wow! This University Is So Committed To Improving Mental Health It’s Making Student Volunteers Help Each Other For Free

Wow! This Paleontologist Working From Home Just Discovered A New Dinosaur Species With Bare Foot

Queen Bee Executed After Successful Coup By Worker Bees

Wow! Several Videos Showed These Apples Were Bad But Then The Apple Union Was Like, “Nuh Uh,” And Now The Apples Are Tear Gassing Us

Fish File Complaint After Sharp Increase In Trash Dumped Into Their Waters

“We Condemn Racism In All Forms,” Says University Founded By Racists That Still Has Buildings Named After Notorious Racists

Epidemiologists Sound Alarm About Drastic Increase In “Disappearing Spine Disease” Currently Ravaging Elected Officials

Local Sharks Disappointed To Learn Beaches Weren’t Closed Because Of Them

Terrified Scientists Discover Colossal Squid’s Even Bigger Ancestor: Absolute Unit Squid

Aww! FOX Just Donated Millions Of “The Masked Singer” Costumes To Some Confused Hospital Staff

Uh Oh! Scientists Warn Of Fierce New Drag Queen Bees Here To Slay The Competition (And You)

Scientists Fear That Society Is Unprepared For Imminent Post-Covid-19 Orgy

HGTV Announces Even Tinier House Hunters Spin-Off Featuring All-Hermit Crab Cast

Quantum Physicist Creates Super Colander To Strain Away Excess Particles

Exasperated Health Officials Move to Rebrand Every Fruit and Vegetable as Superfoods

Genius? This Lab Is Funded Entirely By Cashing In Life Insurance Policies On Lab Rats

God Not Sure How to Tell Humanity That E. Coli Is The Species Made in His Own Image

Most cited

Snubbed? Bacteria That Were The Focus Of Student’s Entire Degree Strangely Absent From Thesis Acknowledgements

Yas Queen! Climate Scientists Say We Should Prepare For An Entire Hot Girl Century!!!

Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean

Sparrow Bragging About T-Rex Ancestry Actually Descended From Some Bitch-Ass Lizard

Latest Issue

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Alcoholic Goldfish Drinks To Forget Harrowing Last Four Seconds

June 20, 2019
“Pretty Sure I Don’t Belong Here” Says Most Impressive Line On Your CV

April 1, 2020
Protocol: How To Convince Your Date To Come Back To Your Lab Because You Have A Timepoint To Finish

June 5, 2023
Climate Scientists Say Rising Sea Levels Are Either Caused By Climate Change Or A Bunch Of People Getting Into The Water At The Same Time

June 5, 2023
Grad Student Who Used Any Excuse To Avoid Lab Work Now Reminiscing About All The Experiments They Could Be Doing

June 27, 2020
Amid Pandemic, City Rats Petition Government For Some Stimulus Garbage

May 25, 2020
Success! Student Aces Thesis Defense After Harshest Committee Member Can’t Figure Out How To Unmute Mic

April 14, 2020
Snubbed? Bacteria That Were The Focus Of Student’s Entire Degree Strangely Absent From Thesis Acknowledgements

January 6, 2022
Tragic! Study On The Negative Psychological Effects Of Using Social Media Has Only Received Six Likes

April 8, 2021
Help! My Advisor Said They Were “Just Going Out For A Pack Of Smokes” And Now They’re On Sabbatical For A Year

January 20, 2020
Grad Student Desperate For Feedback Thrilled To Receive “K.” From Supervisor After Just 3 Months

September 27, 2020
17-Year-Old Lab Student Somehow Trusted With Two-Million Dollar Machine

May 5, 2019
Parents Demand Recall After Child Who Read ‘Quantum Physics For Babies’ Still Can’t Explain String Theory

May 13, 2020
Yas Queen! Climate Scientists Say We Should Prepare For An Entire Hot Girl Century!!!

March 8, 2020

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dnatured is a satirical scientific journal with impact factor 69. We strive to publish the most paper cutting scientific research, protocols and news.

Copyright 2019

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