Medicine Archives » dnatured journal

May 23, 2019

Nation’s Dads Announce That Depression Can Be Treated By Snapping The Hell Out Of It And Not Feeling So Damn Sorry For Yourself

May 14, 2019 Darren Springer

Dads everywhere took time out from reading the paper in front of a muted 24-hour news broadcast to announce that you have no reason to be sad given how good you have it here in in this country, you ingrate.

Unvaccinated Children Now Banned From Heaven, Confirms God

April 30, 2019 James Island

“We now ask that each new applicant to Heaven comes prepared to show their vaccination records.”

Scientist Falling For The Very Virus He Swore To Destroy

April 29, 2019 Marcus Haugen

“When I started at the lab, I hated this thing. I wanted to figure out a way to kill it more than anything in the world. But, I was pouring so much time into thinking about it, so much emotion, I started to realize I wasn’t just catching a cold, I was catching feels.”