Lazy Cell Still Gets Mom To Fold Its Proteins

Graham, L., Singh, A. et al

While most cells take on the responsibility of folding their own proteins at a young age, some overly coddled cells still get their parents to pleat their amino acid-wash chains well into adulthood, as is the case for cell #3aB8-039.

“I mean if she’s doing hers too, can’t she throw mine into the pile as well?” said cell #3bC8-039, a daughter cell who sometimes gets her mom to wipe her protein channels.

While she ‘knows her daughter cell needs to take more responsibility for hercell’ and complete her own cell functions, parent cell #1aB7-928 says her daughter simply isn’t mature enough yet.

“Her cell is so messy you can barely see the cytoplasm! She’d be lost without me.”

Parent cell #1aB7-928 maintains that without her helicopter replicating to ensure that her daughter cells have everything they need, they would wind up kidnapped and sold on the black market for their organelles or worse – in a service job.

“I didn’t send my babies away to that boarding STEM Cell School just so they could be bartenders!” said parent cell #1aB7-928.

At press time, daughter cell cell #3aB8-039 was in the process of becoming a gamete influencer on her K+ channel.

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About Author

Amar Singh

Amar Singh is a stand-up comic and math student in Toronto. Thankfully, he's much better at comedy, so if you enjoyed an article, follow him on social media!

Lexa Graham

Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.

About Amar Singh 18 Articles
Amar Singh is a stand-up comic and math student in Toronto. Thankfully, he's much better at comedy, so if you enjoyed an article, follow him on social media!