Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean

Finch, D. et al

Green energy critics are calling for a return to fossil fuels after an accident at an offshore wind farm dumped 400 million gallons of wind into the Gulf of Mexico. 

“It’s the worst wind spill in modern history!” proclaimed oil lobbyist Stephen Lorry. “This just goes to show how dangerous green energy is.”

To date, authorities say that no one was killed or injured in the accident, as wind is non-toxic in almost every amount.

Although some feared that the wind would harm aquatic species that aren’t used to fast moving air, it thankfully spread out over the surface of the water, leaving marine fish, birds, mammals, and zooplankton unharmed for the time being. 

When asked about the long term impacts, Dr. Barbara Anderson, a top scientist at the Environmental Protection Agency, was optimistic.

“Dolphins and other marine life will not suffer any negative effects from this spill for decades to come,” said Dr. Anderson. “Wind simply can’t compete with the deadliness of other energy sources.”

Dr. Anderson added that pouring huge quantities of wind dispersants is not needed, as the wind naturally dispersed by itself.

A National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration study estimated the cost of the environmental cleanup in the tens of zeroes of dollars.

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