Protocol: How To Convince Your Date To Come Back To Your Lab Because You Have A Timepoint To Finish

Graham, L., Ito, R., Clemente, E.C., Finch, D. et al

It’s Friday night and you’re hitting it off on a date when suddenly, oops! You remember that pesky 11:05pm time-point that you desperately need before Monday’s lab meeting. What’s a researcher to do? Entice your date back to your laboratory with some scientific method-style romance!

Offer Dinner by Bunsen Burner Light

Wrap up the leftovers of your dinner and take that doggie bag straight to the fumehood, where you can set the mood with a few bunsen burners for your new flame!

Crack Open a Bottle of 95% Ethanol

What’s not to love, other than that crisp solvent-y taste? There’s no corking fee, PLUS you can pick up more from the lab store if the night goes well! Be sure to filter out any desiccant before imbibing.

Tell Them There’s A Hidden Romantic Message In Your Raw Data

After teaching your date a few linear regressions, have them straight up do your data processing in search of this hidden message. Two birds, one stone!

Ask If They Want To “See You In Uniform”

Everyone loves a uniform, so what if yours is an unflattering lab coat with weird yellow stains?

Offer Them A Lab Rat Petting Zoo

Show your nurturing side and let your date make some new furry friends. Make careful note which animals were handled in case it affects your results.

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About Author

Lexa Graham

Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.

About Lexa Graham 118 Articles
Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.