Graham, L. et al
Who wants money for things like food or rent when you can adorn yourself with hundred of tangled conference lanyards to the envy of your entire department?
- Register for the most expensive conference in your field, then register everyone else in your lab for the same conference without notifying them.
- On the first day of the conference, go to the welcome committee and pick up your first free uggo lanyard.
- Tell the front desk that your colleagues are coming later but you will hold their lanyards for them.
- At the first mixer, start a game where people try to play Ring Toss but the rings are the lanyards and the bottles are your own neck. Buy people drinks to encourage this reckless behaviour.
- The next morning, go to the front desk and ask if you can have another lanyard because you lost your lanyard at last night’s mixer.
- Apply as a maid in the conference’s official hotel. Steal any lanyards you find.
- Back at the front desk, ask the organizers if someone didn’t show up to collect their lanyard. Purchase a disguise of any person they name and collect your God-given lanyard
- Call Brad Pitt and George Clooney and convince them to take part in your Ocean 11 style heist of the remaining conference lanyards
- Return home and repeat the same process for another conference.