Marshall, A. et al
Pre-med student Andrea Osborne has decided to hang up her stethoscope emoji after getting a medical career-ending B- on her organic chemistry midterm.
Despite her meticulous flash cards of every possible synthesis reaction covered in the course, she messed up the synthesis of Maitotoxin, C164H256Na2O68S2 (pictured below), the most lethal toxin known to animals and organic synthesis students.
“I feel so stupid that I couldn’t nail the reactions of those last fifty stereocentres,” said Osborne of a compound widely viewed as the most difficult molecular synthesis known to man.
Organic chemistry professor and known hardass, Dr. Alan Garza, says he has no sympathy for Osborne or any other student who has to re-think their medical school plans after his midterms, which students on RateMyProfessor.com have called a “GPA obliterator.”
Dr. Garza, whose Organic Chemistry 201 class has a 51% drop out rate, is known to take pride in destroying medical school dreams.
“Perhaps the countless hours these pre-med students spent memorizing 206 bones, 700 muscles, and every human organ system,” said Dr. Garza, “should have been spent learning the nucleophilic mechanism of thionyl chloride, which is categorically more important.”
At press date, Osborne was awaiting the results of her Genetics midterm to see if she would also have to delete her bio’s DNA emoji.