Top Ten Scientific Tips On How To Finish Reading This Scientific Article

Hallworth, M. et al

Studies show that as many as 115% of people don’t read past an article’s headline [1][2], and that even an article like this was probably enough of a concern – numbers? Lists? TEN?! That’s why we at DNAtured have developed this one-of-a-kind system on how to finish this particular article, and probably others just like it. Try it today! Like…right now!

1) Open your eyes (if necessary, apply glasses or contacts)

2) Find a quiet place to read, like a library or a toilet.

3) Move eyes from left to right (unless this article is in Arabic, Hebrew, Persian, or Urdu)

4) Ok now for the hard part! Scan letters and interpret them into words.

5) Halfway there! Do a stretch and drink some water!

6) Uh oh, there’s a complicated word you don’t understand. Blow past it and resist the urge to pivot to social media.

7) Do all of the steps! We can tell you want to skip some of these, but you must do them all.

8) Ignore desire to get up and make a sandwich instead of finishing this article. You can do this!!

9) Look up for a second, just in case you’re walking into traffic.

10) Congrats, you made it! Brag about how you’ve read an article about science!

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About Author

Marc Hallworth

Marc Hallworth has been part of NXNE, SiriusXM Radio's “Canada Laughs,” and was chosen as the host for part of the 2015 PanAm Games. His sketch troupe Vest of Friends was named Best-of-the-Fest at the 2016 Toronto SketchFest and the 2015 Montreal SketchFest, and one of Bite.ca's “10 Canadian Sketch Troupes You Need To See Right Now.”

About Marc Hallworth 10 Articles
Marc Hallworth has been part of NXNE, SiriusXM Radio's “Canada Laughs,” and was chosen as the host for part of the 2015 PanAm Games. His sketch troupe Vest of Friends was named Best-of-the-Fest at the 2016 Toronto SketchFest and the 2015 Montreal SketchFest, and one of Bite.ca's “10 Canadian Sketch Troupes You Need To See Right Now.”