QUIZ: Are You Falling For Your Crush Or Are You Just Suffering From Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy?

Crooks, T. et al.

1. When thinking of your crush, do you:

A. Get a feeling of butterflies in your stomach
B. Have acute chest pains as if a thousand knives are being driven between your ribs

2. When you talk to your crush, do you:

A. Become exhilarated with joy
B. Feel a sensation of lightheadedness followed frequently by loss of consciousness

3. If you are taking a peaceful walk through the park with your crush, do you:

A. Want to hold hands and make the moment last forever
B. Become short of breath and need an ambulance yet AGAIN

4. Would you rather:

A. Go to the movies with your crush
B. Stay at home and watch Netflix with your crush, sex-free, because physical activity may result in death

5. Do you have reptilian-like skin that changes color in response to your environment allowing you to hide from predators?

A. No?
B. Yes… Is that not normal?

This isn’t relevant to the quiz, but if you said option B, that’s so cool! We REALLY want to see!

6. And finally, have you recently:

A. Have a deep conversation with your crush that gave you a feeling of connection unlike anything you’ve ever felt before
B. Have an echocardiogram that showed enlarged heart muscles like Dwayne Johnson’s big meaty biceps

Mostly As

It’s unambiguous. You are DEFINITELY in love and should pursue a relationship. This could be the beginning of something lifelong and beautiful!

Mostly Bs

You should seek out medical attention immediately as there is a strong possibility you have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and could die at any moment. Bummer!

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About Author

Taylor Crooks

Taylor Crooks is a PhD student at the University of Minnesota studying microbiology and why microbes just always have to fuck everything up in our bodies.

About Taylor Crooks 6 Articles
Taylor Crooks is a PhD student at the University of Minnesota studying microbiology and why microbes just always have to fuck everything up in our bodies.