Success! Publication Hasn’t Been Rejected Within First Four Minutes Of Submission

Crooks, T. et al.

After months of writing, post-doc Dr. Richard Warton submitted a manuscript to a publisher at 11:59am and was shocked to discover that, just four minutes later, it had not yet been rejected.

“It’s been a stressful past 240 seconds,” Warton explains, “but I think this is a good sign since it hasn’t been turned down yet! I just hope they don’t read too much into those discussion comments.” 

Upon reflection, Warton grew increasingly concerned regarding a few of his figures just before the submission deadline. Figure 2 was really meant to help broaden the scope of the study, yet he cannot help but feel that it may in fact be considered a weakness. “Oh shit,” said Warton, “what if we should have included that 3rd control for clarity?! Oh shit. Oh shit.”

As the clock struck 12:04 AM, Warton began drafting apology emails to his collaborators to illustrate why it’s really the journal’s fault in the first place. “They probably picked really horrible reviewers too. It’s honestly a rigged system.”

In an unexpected turn of events, at 12:05 AM, Warton noticed a new email in his inbox. A sense of panic ran through him. 

“Fortunately, it was only a student asking for an extension since she just got hit by a bus,” said a relieved Warton. “Thankfully everything is still fine!”

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About Author

Taylor Crooks

Taylor Crooks is a PhD student at the University of Minnesota studying microbiology and why microbes just always have to fuck everything up in our bodies.

About Taylor Crooks 6 Articles
Taylor Crooks is a PhD student at the University of Minnesota studying microbiology and why microbes just always have to fuck everything up in our bodies.