Friends Encourage Blue Moon To Seek Therapy

Hallworth, M. et al

After being visibly “blue” every 2-3 years, Earth’s moon, known by her Roman name Luna, has been finally been convinced by friends to go to therapy.

“Astronomers used to just think it was a timing thing,” explains astrophysicist Dr. Coral McMillan, “but when we finally got to visit the moon starting in the 60s, we noticed that she was always a bit down in the dumps about her craters or that we shot a dog into space.” 

“And it’s like yeah, it’s sad, but not like ‘forty years’ sad,” continued Dr. McMillan. “That’s when we got the Canadarm to hand her a referral for some sliding scale therapy.”

When we talked to the Moon, she obviously had a lot to say, mainly about her tumultuous relationship with her father, the Earth. “It’s not a coincidence that I never turn my back to the Earth, it’s a trust issue!” explains Luna. “And then just when I think I’m my own person, Earth comes along and plunges me straight into darkness. You call it a Lunar Eclipse, but it’s just my dad overshadowing me yet AGAIN.”

The moon says her first session went well and that she now has some insights into handling her absentee father and how her moods depend on where she is in her cycle.

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About Author

Marc Hallworth

Marc Hallworth has been part of NXNE, SiriusXM Radio's “Canada Laughs,” and was chosen as the host for part of the 2015 PanAm Games. His sketch troupe Vest of Friends was named Best-of-the-Fest at the 2016 Toronto SketchFest and the 2015 Montreal SketchFest, and one of Bite.ca's “10 Canadian Sketch Troupes You Need To See Right Now.”

About Marc Hallworth 20 Articles
Marc Hallworth has been part of NXNE, SiriusXM Radio's “Canada Laughs,” and was chosen as the host for part of the 2015 PanAm Games. His sketch troupe Vest of Friends was named Best-of-the-Fest at the 2016 Toronto SketchFest and the 2015 Montreal SketchFest, and one of Bite.ca's “10 Canadian Sketch Troupes You Need To See Right Now.”