Whoops! Someone Did A Software Update On The Lab’s Ancient Computer And Now Nothing Works

Marshall, A. et al

Researchers at the Bremner lab were devastated after realizing someone had updated their ancient computer’s software , completely cutting off access to several MS-DOS programs needed to run their most critical instruments.

Despite the computer’s giant sign that read “DO NOT UPDATE CPU OR ELSE” followed by a list of violent but empty threats, when it was booted witnesses said it displayed the devastating news right on screen; “Welcome to Windows XP.”

The computer, which was one of seven left in the world that could run the group’s crystallography software. They are now searching local estate sales for potential replacements.

The update affected some students worse than others.

“It wasn’t just the lab software man,” said PhD student Mitchell Kruse. “I was so close to finishing Carmen Sandiego!”

Kruse says his PI has told his labmates to publish “a few articles” during the instrument downtime, while the lab looks for another computer that can run a partially disintegrated floppy disk from 1992.

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