Student Lifehack! 5 Easy Recipes You Can Make With That Black Crust In Your Microwave

Ito, R., Springer, D., Singh, A., Island, J., Graham, L. et al

So, you once again failed to make that amazing recipe that your mother showed you once. But what if we told you that all your past failures at lazy cooking have created the perfect ingredient for any post-secondary student lifestyle? That mysterious black crust in your microwave has long been a staple of college cuisine, and we’ve got five easy and “edible” recipes for you to try! 

So scrape off some of that succulent residue and get ready to (sort of) cook!

*Disclaimer, do not use the black crust if you have also been using your microwave to dry laundry.

Salted Crust Chips

Let’s be honest. If you were good at cooking, you wouldn’t need an article like this. Why don’t you take the easiest solution and just eat the crust as is, with a pinch of salt? Break it up into smaller pieces, get some “salsa,” which is the wettened crust under the microwave plate, and enjoy your hopefully tasty snack while you study. Worst-case scenario, you get sick and then have a valid excuse not to turn in your term paper on time. 

Crusteroni and Cheese

Out of pepper? Just take your freshest expired box of macaroni and cheese, sprinkle some of the crust into the bowl and you have yourself an instant classic! If you’re worried about nutritional value, just watch a youtube video of a healthy person eating a tomato!

Ants On A Burnt Out Log 

Not so much a meal as a very enjoyable snack, this smoky irradiated treat is a great way to make sure the kids get their recommended amount of unknown substances. A fun variation of the favorite ants on a log, simply substitute a big piece of black stuff for the celery. This recipe is so easy to make, the only real tricky part is peeling off a big enough piece from the wall of your microwave and saving up for future medical costs.

Croth (Crust Broth)

For this one, simply fill a pot with water and add as much of the crust you want to mix in for flavoring. Stir the pot until the water is pitch black, then heat it up in your microwave. If you don’t have water, substitute with black crust.

Extra Thin Crust Microwave Pizza

This is a must-try for anyone lucky enough to have a bunch of pieces of crust that are circular or triangular. Take those pieces of crust, put a dab of tomato sauce on them and top it off with some cheese wiz. Put in the microwave for about an hour, and you have the perfect hors d’oeuvres! Pro tip: go heavy on the cheese to create more black crust in the microwave so you can make this recipe again, like your own sourdough starter!

Crust Roasted Crust Breast Souffle

Ready to take your cooking to the next level? Take the tittiest looking piece of crust (the one that makes you say WOWZA), marinate in crust dust overnight, put it in a bowl and lightly microwave on high for 6 hours. Let rest for 2 minutes and serve with crust juice.

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About Author

Rob Ito

Rob Ito is a Canadian satirist, comedian and writer. He has previously written for the Beaverton and appears in shows all around Toronto regularly. You can follow Rob on Twitter at @theFakeRobIto.

About Rob Ito 20 Articles
Rob Ito is a Canadian satirist, comedian and writer. He has previously written for the Beaverton and appears in shows all around Toronto regularly. You can follow Rob on Twitter at @theFakeRobIto.