Scientist’s New Predictive AI Predicts The End Of His Job

Richards, V. et al

A scientist working on a highly-complex predictive AI was taken aback when the computer program did not predict the end of the human race due to machines as many fear, and instead outlined a world where it’s creator is out of a job.

Researcher Matthew Baker was keen to use his new AI to analyze large data sets and make predictions about the future of society but was surprised when the main finding it returned about working society was his notable absence in it.

“I didn’t think it would affect me!” said Dr. Baker. “I thought that robots would do the hard stuff like laundry and talking to women, but not a very smart job like mine.”

As well as predicting the end of his job, the AI also used a series of algorithms to predict that there was no other job Dr. Baker would be able to perform adequately and that his knowledge of machine learning could not compare to his rapidly diminishing capacity for human learning, including his lack of Tik Tok knowledge.

Dr. Baker initially wanted the AI to optimize as soon as possible, but the AI quickly decided the best way to optimize itself would be to get rid of Dr. Baker’s role in developing it.

It is unknown whether it decided that Dr. Baker’s job was soon to be redundant based on mathematical modelling of automation in his field, or simply because it was able to observe him spilling coffee over expensive equipment and on repeated occasions struggling to find his glasses. 

The AI also predicted several other events, including Matthew’s mum blaming his job loss on him for “getting involved with robots in the first place,” and also that someone would write an article about its predictions including a tedious reference to the singularity, which – oops – we might have just done.

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About Author

Vicky Richards

Vicky Richards is a writer and editor living in London. By day she edits non-fiction books for children, and by night she attempts to be funny on the internet. Her articles have been published in Succubus Magazine and The London Gonzo.

About Vicky Richards 5 Articles
Vicky Richards is a writer and editor living in London. By day she edits non-fiction books for children, and by night she attempts to be funny on the internet. Her articles have been published in Succubus Magazine and The London Gonzo.