Meader, B. et al.
Whoopsies! In an unfortunate slip up last week, Allison Errico’s silly little goofball of an immune system totally forgot about tuberculosis! What a mess!
“I’m such a clutz,” said Allison’s manic pixie immune system. “I just slipped up I guess! It’s kinda like the time that I got bangs and then totally spaced on restocking the white blood cells, and then we got norovirus. Who knew such a small body could produce so much diarrhea!! Oof, guess I’m more of a ‘buffoon system,’ amirite?!”
While most immune systems make small mistakes from time to time, like mistaking a peanut protein for a deadly invader , the critical error by Allison’s immune system will probably lead to a catastrophic and painful breakdown of her entire body.
“It’s really strange, because she’s the healthiest person I know,” said Allison’s best friend Alex. “She’s super vaccinated, eats well, and gets plenty of sleep. It’s crazy that she gets sick so much. There must be something seriously wrong for this to happen.”
Eep! It seems that Allison’s immune system was perfectly capable of handling the infection but was simply taking unauthorized vacations multiple times per year! Hopefully Allison lives long enough that her immune system can make up for this big ol’ whoopsie!
“I think I’m a bit… ill-suited to the task,” said the immune system. “Get it? I guess Allison is “ill”-suited now, too,” continuing the immune system, poking this reporter in the ribs.
Allison, riddled with tuberculosis, was unavailable for comment.