Yousef, T. et al
A group of exhausted archaeologists working late into the night were rewarded with the discovery of a fossilized Work-Life Balance buried deep under a prestigious university. The ancient artifact, long extinct, is thought to be the last of its kind.
“There was a Greek inscription on the balance, which read ‘life and work in perfect harmony’” said lead researcher Dr. Cynthia Forks, whose previous discoveries include other items from bygone eras like quality time and publishing scientific papers which use only one method.
Though many are praising Dr. Forks, there are some at the university who aren’t as impressed with the discovery.
“I’m not really sure what this finding can realistically do for me,” said one undergraduate student. They went on to say, “Ideally, I would—“ before promptly falling asleep on the spot.
Another student, with a sort of halo that glows around them, was happy to provide comment. “I’m not really sure how, but I’ve sort of got it all! I’m well rested, I am achieving honour roll grades, and my friendships are thriving!” she proclaimed, spilling about 15 different bottles of performance-enhancing drugs on the ground as she walked away.
The dug up work life balance was initially intended to be cleaned up and displayed prominently on the university campus as a reminder to take regard of one’s personal well-being. Unfortunately, someone was really busy and totally forgot and sadly ended up losing it altogether. But they’re really, really sorry.
Dr. Forks was unfortunately too busy to provide comment, and was recently observed dismissing a call from her wife in order to finish up the paper on this new discovery.
