Don’t Worry, Here’s A List Of Five People Who Found Success In Their 40s and STILL Haven’t Paid Off Their Student Loans

Pearce, D. et al.

5. Doctor Claw from Inspector Gadget

Doctor Claw made an honest living for 20 years as a pediatrician. He was working to pay off his PhD, which proved difficult considering he would typically scare off patients before the check up even started. It wasn’t until he turned 47 that Doctor Claw realized his true calling as Inspector Gadget’s nemesis. He has STILL not paid off his student loans because he’s a bad, bad man.

4. Professor Phil

Before you say it, NO, he is NOT related to Dr. Phil, and screw you for even asking! Professor Phil has a television show where he interviews unstable carbon ions in front of their mothers. Professor Phil has been on the air for thirty years WITHOUT paying off his student loans! Whenever the collectors come knocking, he just tells them they’re projecting.

3. Dr. E. Wrecktion

While I’m sure you knew that the 6’2″ man draped in a lab coat (and nothing else) didn’t REALLY have a Masters in Gynecology, you’d be surprised to know that this gorgeous hunk of man originally wanted to be an exotic dancer! He attended Julliard School of Dance, and he’s gone twenty five years without paying his loans, because he slicks his naked body with oil so no one can catch him.

2. Aristotle

Yeah buddy. He’s pretty much the first scientist ever. His secret to saving all his riches to himself? Aristotle was only part of his legal name. While attending school, he went by the name of Calvin Aristotle Valentine, allowing him to evade collections calls for years

1. You???

Yes you! Some day you will be forty, heck maybe you already are, you will be successful, and you will be just as broke as you are now. Maybe you’ll be selling tube socks out of your hatchback? Maybe you’ll be hosting a cable access show where you interview local beekeepers? But if history has proven anything, you will most certainly NOT be working in whatever field you’re currently spending thousands of dollars to be a part of.

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About Author

Dana Pearce

Dana Pearce performs stand up comedy all over Toronto and is also the creator of DotMP3, a sketch comedy channel on Youtube.

About Dana Pearce 10 Articles
Dana Pearce performs stand up comedy all over Toronto and is also the creator of DotMP3, a sketch comedy channel on Youtube.