Missing Your Supervisor? This New App Allows Alexa To Criticize Your Work In Real Time!

Lazovich, T. et al

In these uncertain times, many graduate students find themselves craving the familiar feelings of sadness and inadequacy that come from interactions with their PhD supervisors. The Alexa team has stepped in to fill the void with a brand new app for all Amazon Echo™ products, Professor Alexa.

Take a look at the exciting new list of features:

Real-time feedback on your work

Make sure your Echo™ has a clear view over your shoulder, and hear the comments come in! With three different intensity levels, feedback can vary from mildly scathing comments like “Why haven’t you made more progress on this?” to “Remind me why you wanted to get your PhD?” Just like your lab home away from home!

Built-in old white man biases

Any time you open up to your new virtual advisor about your background, previous education, or hopes and dreams, you can expect it to respond just like the average 63-year-old white tenured professor in your department. If you’re a woman, you’ll hear classics like “Have you considered dropping out and having children?” If you’re a minority, Alexa will chime in every once in a while with a “You’re really smart for someone with your background!” or a “You’re more eloquent than I thought you would be!” What a great way to remind yourself of the institutional hurdles that you’re missing while working from the comfort of your own home.

True-to-life availability

Expect your virtual advisor to oscillate between regularly hammering you with detailed questions about minutia (like line colors in figures) to being totally absent and silent for months at a time. Emails will go into a black hole, attempts to talk in person will be ignored, and then all of a sudden Prof. Alexa will awake and ask you what the hell you’ve been doing for the past three months. You’ll hate it!

You can find our new Professor Alexa app in the Amazon marketplace, just in time for your quarantine. Buy it for yourself or a loved one today!

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About Author

Tomo Lazovich

Tomo Lazovich is a research scientist by day and comedy writer and performer by night. His work has appeared online at McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Points in Case, Little Old Lady Comedy, and Robot Butt. He also writes a monthly satirical column for Funny-ish called Our Dystopian Future. He regularly performs improv and sketch comedy in the Boston area and has studied satire writing with The Second City.

About Tomo Lazovich 6 Articles
Tomo Lazovich is a research scientist by day and comedy writer and performer by night. His work has appeared online at McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Points in Case, Little Old Lady Comedy, and Robot Butt. He also writes a monthly satirical column for Funny-ish called Our Dystopian Future. He regularly performs improv and sketch comedy in the Boston area and has studied satire writing with The Second City.