Tragic! Rocket Scientists Break Up Over Thrust Issues

Singh, A., Graham, L. et al.

Confidential sources inside NASA have revealed that mechanical engineer Sima Gill has ended her relationship with co-worker Ryan Cairn over what she described as “a complete lack of thrust.”

“Being with him was a real Challenger,” said Gill, “actually, no this was worse. At least a spaceship exploding has some excitement.”

While sad, this failure to launch is not uncommon. Similar collaborations have failed from not having a clear trajectory, accelerating too quickly, or chronic early payload release.

Gill also remarked that Cain took no initiative whatsoever. “If I wanted a boyfriend I constantly had to instruct, I’d date C++.”

Cain defended himself, adding that dating Gill was no “walk on the moon” either.

“I mean I’d say cool stuff like ‘This is gonna be a walk on the moon!’ if something was gonna be easy, and then she’d be all like ‘that’s not an expression!’ said Cain. “We’d argue for awhile, then later, I would prematurely ejaculate. I just don’t get what she was missing, I did everything right!”

It seems that Gill is already moving on, and went on a date with a microbiologist just yesterday. However, she didn’t seem too positive about it, when asked she said “She had tons of thrust, but I’m worried there isn’t enough chemistry between us.”

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About Author

Amar Singh

Amar Singh is a stand-up comic and math student in Toronto. Thankfully, he's much better at comedy, so if you enjoyed an article, follow him on social media!

Lexa Graham

Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of dnatured. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering.

About Amar Singh 4 Articles
Amar Singh is a stand-up comic and math student in Toronto. Thankfully, he's much better at comedy, so if you enjoyed an article, follow him on social media!