Whoa! Historically Red Mars Flips Blue

Finch, D. et al

With the last mail-in ballots finally counted, DNAtured projects that Mars, a deeply red planet historically, has turned blue for the first time in recent memory.

The last time Mars was blue was several billion years ago, when it’s surface was covered in liquid water. Democratic Martians said that they were motivated to get the current administration out of office for fear that Earth’s COVID-19 outbreak could spread.

“Although Mars has no electoral votes, is not technically part of the United States, nor seems to have any intelligent life, we are thrilled with this development,” said Biden campaign spokesperson Mangala Lohit.

Mars joins the blue moon becoming the second astronomical body to definitively prefer Vice President Biden over his Republican opponent.  Although President Trump is winning in several other astronomical bodies, the vote counting has not yet finished, and they may shift from red to blue if they move towards us quickly enough.

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