Shit! Scientists Announce Terrifying New Insect They’re Calling “Tax-Fraud Wasps”

Springer, D. et al

Princeton University scientists announced today that they have discovered the existence of a new species of insect they’ve named Vespa caralona, or, as the scientists have nicknamed it, the “tax-fraud wasp”.

The team noted that this new organism can mainly be found living in hillside or heavily wooded areas, but do make occasional trips into urban areas to meet with accountants to file wildly fraudulent and deceitful tax returns that grossly misrepresent their actual earnings. 

“Beyond a somewhat painful stinging, these wasps post no physical threat whatsoever to human beings,” clarified head researcher Laura Rawlings. “But the impact they could have on both the national and global economies hurts far more than a jab from a venomous stinger.”

The insect is thought to originate from the British Virgin Islands, which features the world’s biggest concentration of tax cheats. Many tax-fraud wasps are worth upwards of seven figures, and have either inherited their wealth or generated it with a few well-placed investments in areas such as tech or nectar futures.

The research team is currently investigating the possibility that the tax-fraud wasp may become an invasive species, in which case the U.S. could become overrun by irritating, Armani-sporting wasps in Porsches with dyed stingers. 

Get access to more dnatured

Support Darren Springer on Patreon and get more dnatured perks starting from just $1.00

About Author

Darren Springer

Darren Springer is a writer living in Toronto who has been published in Splitsider, CBC Comedy, and bite.ca. He can also be found at darrendspringer.bandcamp.com

About Darren Springer 18 Articles
Darren Springer is a writer living in Toronto who has been published in Splitsider, CBC Comedy, and bite.ca. He can also be found at darrendspringer.bandcamp.com