Ito, R. et al
Worried about finances and starting to lose his grubbish figure, local termite Terry has taken his doctor’s advice and started to eat a little lighter by only devouring a tiny house for his midday meal.
“Normally just grab something from that McMansion down the street, but I noticed my exoskeleton getting a bit tight,” said Terry while munching on the paneling of his lower carb meal.
“At first I thought it was just time to molt again, but I already did that last week,” explained Terry. “I knew I was in trouble when my femur gaps started disappearing.”
Terry’s hive-mate Tina says she fully applauds his commitment to shedding those few extra micrograms.
“I wasn’t going to say anything, but eating nothing but huge multi-story houses can’t be good for you,” said Tina. “Cheap drywall and vinyl flooring have none of the nutritional value of wood!”
Terry’s healthy lifestyle choices have also been noted by Dr. Kelsey Vega, an entomologist who has been studying Terry’s hive for a while. “I know I should try to view all members of the hive that they are literally all equally beautiful, but I’m really impressed that this one is making the decision to take better care of himself. Most male termites let themselves go after realizing they are guaranteed to score with the queen.”
“Although, I have to admit that the amount of sawdust he’s sprinkling on his tiny houses is kind of defeating the purpose.”
In other insect health news, a remarkably lazy ant was only lifting 15 times her own weight in the colony’s gym.