Chemistry Teacher Fired After Failing To Endanger Students With Dangerous Demonstration On First Day Of Class

Graham, L. et al

High school chemistry teacher Jonathan Phillips was fired after his first day of class after students reported that he simply showed a “boring” demonstration on pH paper that “didn’t even make a good TikTok.”

Vice principal Francesca Matteo says she is appalled at Phillips’ behaviour, adding that safety has no place in first day Chemistry demonstrations.

“Normal Chemistry teachers put student’s lives in danger with these dangerous stunts so they can see students happy in their class one last time,” said Matteo. “If someone deprives their students of such an experience, well… we can’t have a sadist like that working here.”

“We signed up for chemistry just for the chance at blowing something up,” said 11th-grader Ronnie Campbell. “All this dude talks about is titrations.” Campbell is still holding out hope that the “bomb calorimetry” unit will be as exciting as it sounds.

Phillips says he’s trying to get hired at another school despite his reputation, and says that he has already invested in ethanol, a water jug, a lighter, and several tonnes of TNT.

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About Author

Lexa Graham

Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.

About Lexa Graham 111 Articles
Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.