Graham, L. et al
PhD student Lupita Estevez was recently shocked after scientists examined her working conditions and told her that, technically, she meets all the criteria to be classified as an extremophile, an organism that can survive the harshest conditions on planet earth.
“It’s remarkable,” said biologist Martina Bullock, “it’s like she doesn’t require sleep or nutrients, and subsists on ramen scraps left on the stove by her roommate. She should be dead a hundred times over.”
Though extremophiles can survive intensely hot, cold, salty, acidic, basic, pressurized, dry, radioactive, or barren conditions, scientists say the jury is still out if they would survive graduate school.
Albert, an extremophile in the tardigrade (Milnesium tardigradum) family who can survive temperatures above 400 Kelvin and large doses of radiation, says that he think he would struggle under the same conditions as Estevez.
“All that pipetting on zero sleep?” bubbled Albert. There’s no way!”
“I suppose it does sound extreme when you put it like that. Maybe my body is just very adaptable,” said Estevez, whose eye now twitches uncontrollably.
Estevez’s supervisor, Dr. Robert Iverson, says the conditions in his group are perfectly reasonable and demands to know how Estevez could have sacrificed 5 minutes of precious lab time answering interview questions.