Oil Company To Invest In Green Energy After Change Of Heart, Multi-Billion Dollar Loss

Whittle, J. et al

Oil industry executives from several manor companies have had a change of heart concerning the climate crisis, saying they plan to invest in new green energy, and add that the investments are in no way related to their recent 20 billion dollar loss on oil investments. 

“Sure, you can come at us and say that the only reason we are investing in green energy now is that we lost 20 billions dollars due to the volatility of oil this year, and you’d be totally right, because let me tell you this if oil prices were still at record highs we would not be having this conversation,” said Olly Baron, CEO of Globoil International Oil, as he was interrupted by his handler during the press conference. “I mean, [clears throat] Globoil has always been a leading force in green energy and technological advances in the energy sector… just forget the first thing I said.” 

Oil prices fell dramatically in 2020 due in part to the global COVID-19 crisis limiting travel, making these multi-billion dollar oil companies some of the greatest sufferers of the year, according to them.

“So you lost your $50k a year job, I personally lost several times that! Nevertheless, this is a situation that nobody wanted,” said Baron. “I mean we had to lay off thousands of workers in order to pay our executive bonuses, and that was a difficult decision. In the end, I think that hurt us more than it hurt our workers, you know? Emotionally or whatever?” 

While the oil company has so far not invested a penny in any promising green energy companies, Baron said they are committed to the investment for the long haul, “or until oil prices go up again.”

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About Author

Joseph Whittle

Joseph Whittle is a Canadian comic and sketch writer. He can be seen performing on various shows all over Toronto. You can follow Joseph on Twitter at @josephswhittle

About Joseph Whittle 3 Articles
Joseph Whittle is a Canadian comic and sketch writer. He can be seen performing on various shows all over Toronto. You can follow Joseph on Twitter at @josephswhittle