How To Power Through Seasonal Depression Because Capitalism Demands It

Graham, L. et al.

It happens every year; winter’s got you feeling blue and you dream about starting a human hibernation movement, but you can’t take a day off because you need every last dollar you can get and asking for a paid sick day would panic your workplace into thinking a union was afoot. Here are some tips to help you have a healthier work-depression balance!

Try Aromatherapy!

If you need to unwind after a long day, fill your home with the sweet aromas of professional-grade smelling salts so you can get started on the rest of your soul-crushing deadlines. 

Get Some Sun!

Getting enough sun can be tough during the winter, especially for freelancers and shift workers. If you keep missing the seventeen minutes of winter sunshine we have each day, don’t worry! Simply live stream the sun from another time-zone!

Use A SAD Lamp!

Add SAD lamps to a string of Christmas lights and drape generously around your workplace attire. The weight of the lamps can mimic the feeling of human touch that you’ve lost since you started working a second job to keep up with your bills.

Get Active! 

Tearfully throw a snowball at the banking institution that charged you $40 for overdrafting fifty cents! If you’re a commuter, consider walking to work after your car inevitably breaks down 🙂

Start A New Project!

Harness depression’s never-ending insomnia and inability to get out of bed into a side-hustle as a Nannycam Girl. Some aspiring parents pay top dollar to practice checking in on you every five minutes to make sure you’re still breathing.

Give Back!

Pitch an ad campaign to your multinational telecommunications company that highlights mental health and watch them make millions of dollars in tax write-offs! A sense of accomplishment can help with the depression you feel after your manager berates you for missing impossible sales targets!

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About Author

Lexa Graham

Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.

About Lexa Graham 103 Articles
Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.