Singh, A., Graham, L. et al.
Students at Hawaii’s Koko Head Elementary School Science Fair got a glimpse of the inspiration for their bland science fair projects this week when a local volcano violently erupted outside their classroom window. Teachers are reportedly calling it “the most exciting thing to happen at one of these.”
While there were no casualties, all staff agreed they’d rather die in a real volcano than have to see another baking soda one.
“Every year, all the lazy kids pour vinegar into a hole and make it smell like a tired old man tried to start a fish and chips restaurant,” said grade 6 science teacher Bowen Stills, who has judged 113 feeble eruptions to date.
Local quake-ologists say that the seismic event seems to have been triggered not by shifting tectonic plates, but by the volcano’s desire to flex on its baking soda versions, much to their anger.
“We get it, you’re a real volcano,” bubbled surviving paper-mache replica, Volkanoe, “always showing off that you can make it rain magma, big whoop! Call me when you cause an educator to lose their will to live.”
To add insult to injury, the real volcano received an A+ despite not being an official part of the fair.