Parents Demand Recall After Child Who Read ‘Quantum Physics For Babies’ Still Can’t Explain String Theory

Graham, L. et al

Parents Anita and Richard Bryant are furious after their son Jordan could not explain a single tenant of string theory after they read him the entire Quantum Physics For Babies book.

“He still can’t tell a quark from a hadron,” fumed the boy’s father, who lost several deposits after 8-month-old Jordan failed multiple entrance exams for summer college prep courses.

“We went over how the universe has strings, which get tangled with each other, and how one of the vibrational states of the string gives rise to the graviton, a quantum mechanical particle that carries gravitational force like seventeen times, but he keeps labelling the graviton as some made up particle called the ‘mama.’”

Bryant is calling for publishers to recall the textbook, saying “why would I pay $17.99 if my baby can’t even pass a basic graduate level course after reading it?”

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Lexa Graham

Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.

About Lexa Graham 93 Articles
Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.