Sad! This Researcher Can’t Get His Paper Peer Reviewed Cause He Has No Friends!

Singh, A. et al

Oh wow! This is a huge bummer, man. David Trainor has this freakin’ cool article about peptide bonding, but he can’t get that darn thing published cause the guy’s got no peers. Not one peer. Absolutely nada if you can believe it! Sure, David has been lonely spending all his waking hours in the lab, but now he’s also super unsuccessful due to it. Yikes!

Trainor’s incredible paper might’ve changed everything, but in his pursuit of peptide binds, he tragically forgot to form real ones. Nobody’s gonna see that paper, fella :(. You’re cheesed. Screwed! You’re SOL, you poor SOB.

“I always thought peers meant like, colleagues, or even just strangers who happened to be in your field,” said David, “but there’s a space on this submission form to list a ‘Best Friend’. What do I put down? My microscope? My key card to the lab? I haven’t talked to anyone besides an amino acid solution in like four years.”

In other news, Dr. Jerry Popular, M.D., Ph.D., J.D., who coincidentally happens to be very well liked, is getting papers published everyday like BLAMMO! It’s easy for him, because he’s got so many peers. Peer city? Yeah, he’d be the mayor.

Looks like you should’ve been more like Jerry Popular, David! 

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Amar Singh

Amar Singh is a stand-up comic and math student in Toronto. Thankfully, he's much better at comedy, so if you enjoyed an article, follow him on social media!

About Amar Singh 18 Articles
Amar Singh is a stand-up comic and math student in Toronto. Thankfully, he's much better at comedy, so if you enjoyed an article, follow him on social media!