Move Over Mouth Pipetting! The Hottest New Lab Trend Is Scoopula Nails

Graham, L. et al

After growing frustrated with how much time it took her to grab a scoopula from from across the lab bench, organic chemist Arya Wilkinson has innovated a dangerously fashionable new shortcut; acrylic nails with scoopulas at the end.

“The scoopulas are just so far away,” sighed Wilkinson, “who has time to take those five steps there and back during a busy reaction day? So I gathered all of our lab’s scoopulas, took them to my nail salon and got them put in instead of my regular acrylics.”

When asked if she’s worried about the potential for harmful substances being so close to her skin, Wilkinson brushes it off.

“Whatever. I scooped up some sodium hydroxide and a chunk fell through the opening in my glove and ate away part of my finger, so what?” said Wilkinson. “That makes them bad?”

Wilkinson estimated that she’s saved hundreds of seconds in the past month alone with her new nails.

WIlkinson’s supervisor, Dr. Emilia Tavern however, isn’t so sure of the new trend.

“Based on her recent requests for writing extensions, I imagine very hard to type with those things,” said Dr. Tavern. “I hope she has some keyboard nails lined up next so she can finish the paper I need by next week’s conference.”

Wilkinson, who considers herself a scientific innovator, hopes that people remember her in the same vein as the inventor of mouth pipetting.

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About Author

Lexa Graham

Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.

About Lexa Graham 115 Articles
Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.