Marshall, A. et al
“If these kids start skipping school and pull Cs and Ds on the standardized tests, they could make the whole state look bad!” said one fearful American politician. Others aren’t convinced the strike will have lasting effects on GPA levels.
“They probably just wanted the day off,” dismissed one unnamed politician, who was golfing during a recent vote to tax carbon emissions .
The students, who say that rising surface temperatures will cause food insecurity, catastrophic weather events, and negative health effects, have already missed 1,148 tests collectively, and politicians worry that number could lead to a 2% decrease in grade point averages by the end of the century.