Paranoid Mother Keeps Child On Leash For 9 Months

Graham, L. et al.

Local mom-to-be Cheryl Swift is being called “overprotective” and a “helicopter mom” by friends and strangers after keeping her unborn baby attached to her by a bloody umbilical leash for the past 9 months. 

“It’s horrifying,” said Trisha Burrows, Swift’s next door neighbor. “That kid will never learn how to get nutrients for itself if Cheryl keeps this up.” 

Burrows, who is childless, reveals that Swift even keeps her baby leashed at home. Experts say that while the choice of leashing their children is personal, their use should be limited to outside [1].

“You really shouldn’t keep your child on a leash for more than a couple of hours,” said pediatrician Dr. Rosie Uomi. “The 24-hour arrangement Swift has is deeply concerning.” Dr. Uomi added that leashes should be fastened to a child’s back, never their belly button [2]

Swift maintains that the set up is critical to her baby’s safety and that people should mind their own business. “My fetus wouldn’t last a second off this umbilical cord. What if it’s undeveloped eyes spot a ball and it takes off across the street while my back is turned?”

While she doesn’t appreciate other people’s judgement, she is considering reducing her baby’s off-leash time after it is born.

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About Author

Lexa Graham

Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.

About Lexa Graham 63 Articles
Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.