Graham, L., DeFrance, K. et al.
A new study has confirmed what many researchers have felt for years: yes, every aspect of your narrowly focused life’s work is completely meaningless.
The study, which analyzed data from 8,498 researchers across 464 universities, found a significant correlation between journal publications and the implausibility that the research would affect even one person at all (P<0.05).
Meaninglessness was measured in mass of rejected grant proposals (in tonnes), using the Family Reaction Method , which quantifies the pained and bored facial expressions of a scientist’s family members after asking “how’s grad school?”.
100% of surveyed family members scored at least “Extreme Apathy” or higher, which has only ever been found for accountants .
The scientists encourage researchers to continue with their adorable little projects, so they can continue to answer stranger’s questions such as: “Oh so you’re like, curing cancer?”