Is Your Research Meaningless? New Study Suggests Yes!

Graham, L., DeFrance, K. et al.

A new study has confirmed what many researchers have felt for years: yes, every aspect of your narrowly focused life’s work is completely meaningless.

The study, which analyzed data from 8,498 researchers across 464 universities, found a significant correlation between journal publications and the implausibility that the research would affect even one person at all (P<0.05).

Meaninglessness was measured in mass of rejected grant proposals (in tonnes), using the Family Reaction Method [1], which quantifies the pained and bored facial expressions of a scientist’s family members after asking “how’s grad school?”.

100% of surveyed family members scored at least “Extreme Apathy” or higher, which has only ever been found for accountants [2].

The scientists encourage researchers to continue with their adorable little projects, so they can continue to answer stranger’s questions such as: “Oh so you’re like, curing cancer?”

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About Author

Lexa Graham

Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of dnatured. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering.

About Lexa Graham 54 Articles
Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of dnatured. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering.