Food Scientists Determine Soup Was Not As Spicy as Karen Said it Was

Bugg, A., Graham, L. et al.

After several years and numerous double blind tests, it was determined that the Southwestern Soup from Panera Bread was definitively not as spicy as Karen from Accounting said it was.

To determine spiciness, the soup was blended and filtered into 500 mL taste tubes (plain ceramic bowls), then fed to the multinational company’s unpaid interns, who were blindfolded and handcuffed [1]. The researchers measured each intern’s reaction, from blowing rate to tear volume, then compared it to previous reactions in the database.

“We used a modified Scoville scale specially tailored to soups, which ranges from 1, a cup of plain chicken broth, to 10, that Thai soup that Kevin had at lunch and then had to go home,” said Senior Chowder Correspondent Dr. Tiffany Franklin. “The Southwestern soup registered a 3, falling way behind the 8 that Karen estimated.”

Karen was not available for comment as she was busy posting signage about a blood drive for her daughter’s peewee axe-throwing team.

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About Author

Amy Bugg

Amy Bugg is a stand-up comic with a penchant for inactivity, mild-mannered jokes about pizza, and dogs who look like people. You’re likely to find her featured on comedy stages across the country or at the back of a rural Alberta bar practicing her very questionable karaoke skills.

You’ll remember Amy Bugg’s deadpan delivery from Sled Island (Calgary), Sirius XM's Next Top Comic (Vancouver), Women in Comedy Festival 2017 (Boston), YYComedy Festival (Calgary), CBC’s “Grown-ups Read Things They Wrote as Kids”, and Oddblock (Winnipeg). Your mom might have also read her short story in Canadian Living.

Lexa Graham

Lexa Graham is a comedian with a Master’s degree in Chemical Engineering, and the founder and editor of DNAtured Journal. She has previously written for Reductress, CBC Comedy and also had her research published in The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering. You can follow her on Twitter @LexaGrammar.

About Amy Bugg 4 Articles
Amy Bugg is a stand-up comic with a penchant for inactivity, mild-mannered jokes about pizza, and dogs who look like people. You’re likely to find her featured on comedy stages across the country or at the back of a rural Alberta bar practicing her very questionable karaoke skills. You’ll remember Amy Bugg’s deadpan delivery from Sled Island (Calgary), Sirius XM's Next Top Comic (Vancouver), Women in Comedy Festival 2017 (Boston), YYComedy Festival (Calgary), CBC’s “Grown-ups Read Things They Wrote as Kids”, and Oddblock (Winnipeg). Your mom might have also read her short story in Canadian Living.