Month: February 2019

Women were carefully collected from Wine & Paint nights and Lifetime Channel movie auditions, then spun into fabrics using a converted SoulCycle gym.

The touching tribute infuriated Nestle, who bought a 1000-year permit for all Martian water for sixteen cents.

Many students are facing a difficult choice; either buying an entire week’s worth of groceries, or accidentally chipping one frail beaker.

The would-be recipient shocked her doctors after she rejected the face of donor Karen Wright, a 49-year-old five out of ten.

The new species have been classified as “abominations” by marine biologists.

Producers are looking for Housewives that are as thin and lifeless as the Martian atmosphere.

“I was making pancakes and realized the side closest to the heat keeps getting all burnt up… why haven’t scientists used that idea to stop climate change yet?”