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March 24, 2023
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Environment

Scientists Say The Ocean Now Contains So Much Plastic That We Should Call It “The Plastic” And Be Happy With How Much Ocean It Contains

July 2, 2019 Amar Singh

Since it’s mostly plastic at this point, maybe we just give up on calling it The Ocean

Research

PhD Student Celebrates Paying Thousands Of Dollars To Write A Paper Only 17 People Will Read

April 18, 2019 Lexa Graham

“I come from the lower-middle class, so I knew academia was my path to getting six figures,” said Williams, “I just thought it would be in salary.”

Astronomy

Neptune’s Newly Discovered Moon “Hippocamp” To Be Given Cruel Nickname By Popular Girl Moons

April 17, 2019 Craig Fay

Neptune, for it’s part, shouted “don’t make me come out there” when it heard the moons bickering in its orbit.

Engineering

Engineers Develop Prosthetic Hand For Amputees Who Just Want To Stare At Their Hands While High

April 14, 2019 Darren Springer

“The standard prosthetic is far smoother than the average human hand, and lacks the wrinkles, hair and pockmarks that really blow your fucking mind”

Chemistry

How Did This Particle Get So Alpha? He Swears By Having Two Protons and Two Neutrons

April 12, 2019 Lexa Graham

Biology

Most Plants Enjoy Being Licked In The Phloem, Claims This Bee

April 12, 2019 Lexa Graham

Biology

Scientists Confirm ‘We Have No Goddamn Idea’ Whether Chocolate Is Good Or Bad For You

April 11, 2019 Editor

Astronomy

Supermassive Black Hole Absorbs Large Portions Of Your Facebook Timeline

April 10, 2019 James Island

Biology

To My Queen: Yes, I Am A Drone Bee, But I Am More Than Just Your Sex Slave

April 10, 2019 Marc Hallworth

My name is Rodney Thomas Squance, and although I am a drone in your colony, there’s a lot more to me than my sticky bee ejaculate.

Physics

Ten Year Long Study Concludes Definitively How Long A Decade Is

April 9, 2019 George Burgess

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dnatured is a satirical scientific journal with impact factor 69. We strive to publish the most paper cutting scientific research, protocols and news.

 

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