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Women were carefully collected from Wine & Paint nights and Lifetime Channel movie auditions, then spun into fabrics using a converted SoulCycle gym.

The touching tribute infuriated Nestle, who bought a 1000-year permit for all Martian water for sixteen cents.

Many students are facing a difficult choice; either buying an entire week’s worth of groceries, or accidentally chipping one frail beaker.

The would-be recipient shocked her doctors after she rejected the face of donor Karen Wright, a 49-year-old five out of ten.

The new species have been classified as “abominations” by marine biologists.