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June 12, 2022
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Medicine

How To Power Through A Pandemic Because Capitalism Demands It

July 24, 2020 Lexa Graham

Environment

Scientists Say The Ocean Now Contains So Much Plastic That We Should Call It “The Plastic” And Be Happy With How Much Ocean It Contains

July 2, 2019 Amar Singh

Since it’s mostly plastic at this point, maybe we just give up on calling it The Ocean

Biology

17-Year-Old Lab Student Somehow Trusted With Two-Million Dollar Machine

May 5, 2019 Marc Hallworth

“I only read the pre-lab five minutes ago, I don’t know how this thing works at all. It’s the size of a rhino and apparently pretty fragile.”

Biology

Forensic Science Prodigy Pronounces Man “Hella Dead”

March 23, 2019 Amy Bugg

Environment

Illegal Logging Company Says It Was Just Checking Out The Age Of All Those Trees

March 18, 2019 Editor
Astronomy

Physicists Discover Dark Matter Has Harder Time Finding Employment

March 16, 2019 Leonard Chan

One employer, who preferred to remain anonymous, asked, “how can I hire matter I can’t even detect?”

Biology

Marine Biologists Confirm Mermaid That Washed Up On Shore Had Stomach Full Of Thing-A-Ma-Bobs

March 7, 2019 James Island

Biology

Sparrow Bragging About T-Rex Ancestry Actually Descended From Some Bitch-Ass Lizard

February 16, 2019 Lexa Graham

A local sparrow was stunned after a DNA test revealed that 90% of his genetics are from something called a “Tonga Ground Skink” and not from a Tyrannosaurus rex, as his family has claimed for generations.

Engineering

Incredible! These Military Engineers Created An Invisibility Cloak Made Of Women Over 40

February 14, 2019 Lexa Graham

Women were carefully collected from Wine & Paint nights and Lifetime Channel movie auditions, then spun into fabrics using a converted SoulCycle gym.

Biology

Move Over Mouth Pipetting! The Hottest New Lab Trend Is Scoopula Nails

May 23, 2022 Lexa Graham

Medicine

Experimental Psychology Professor Assigns 500 Page Essay On Sleep Deprivation Due Tomorrow

May 12, 2022 Lexa Graham

Physics

Renowned Physicist Kidnapped And Forced To Write Sequel To His Thesis By Crazed Superfan

April 20, 2022 Rob Ito

Biology

Wow! This Newly Discovered Dinosaur Was Just Elected Nation’s Youngest Senator

April 17, 2022 Ben Bishop

Biology

Funding Hack! This Biologist Named A Recently Discovered Gene “Physiological Relevance” And Immediately Got A Flood Of Grants

February 16, 2022 Sophie Letcher

Chemistry

Oops! School’s Periodic Table Is Missing All The Newly Discovered Elements And Also Important Ones Like Carbon

February 4, 2022 Lexa Graham

Biology

Snubbed? Bacteria That Were The Focus Of Student’s Entire Degree Strangely Absent From Thesis Acknowledgements

January 6, 2022 Lexa Graham

Biology

Muscle Biologist Sick Of Samples Flexing On Her

December 16, 2021 Sophie Letcher

Astronomy

Cosmic Breakthrough? Scientists Now Suspect The Universe Is Expanding Because It’s Trying To Avoid Us

November 28, 2021 Annoj Thavalingam

Astronomy

Bend In Space Time? The Clock Says 10am, But It Feels Like It’s Time To Go Home

November 23, 2021 Joseph Whittle

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dnatured is a satirical scientific journal with impact factor 69. We strive to publish the most paper cutting scientific research, protocols and news.

 

Copyright 2019

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