Environment Scientists Say The Ocean Now Contains So Much Plastic That We Should Call It “The Plastic” And Be Happy With How Much Ocean It Contains July 2, 2019 Amar Singh Since it’s mostly plastic at this point, maybe we just give up on calling it The Ocean
Biology 17-Year-Old Lab Student Somehow Trusted With Two-Million Dollar Machine May 5, 2019 Marc Hallworth “I only read the pre-lab five minutes ago, I don’t know how this thing works at all. It’s the size of a rhino and apparently pretty fragile.”
Environment Illegal Logging Company Says It Was Just Checking Out The Age Of All Those Trees March 18, 2019 Editor
Astronomy Physicists Discover Dark Matter Has Harder Time Finding Employment March 16, 2019 Leonard Chan One employer, who preferred to remain anonymous, asked, “how can I hire matter I can’t even detect?”
Biology Marine Biologists Confirm Mermaid That Washed Up On Shore Had Stomach Full Of Thing-A-Ma-Bobs March 7, 2019 James Island
Biology Sparrow Bragging About T-Rex Ancestry Actually Descended From Some Bitch-Ass Lizard February 16, 2019 Lexa Graham A local sparrow was stunned after a DNA test revealed that 90% of his genetics are from something called a “Tonga Ground Skink” and not from a Tyrannosaurus rex, as his family has claimed for generations.
Engineering Incredible! These Military Engineers Created An Invisibility Cloak Made Of Women Over 40 February 14, 2019 Lexa Graham Women were carefully collected from Wine & Paint nights and Lifetime Channel movie auditions, then spun into fabrics using a converted SoulCycle gym.
Biology Move Over Mouth Pipetting! The Hottest New Lab Trend Is Scoopula Nails May 23, 2022 Lexa Graham
Medicine Experimental Psychology Professor Assigns 500 Page Essay On Sleep Deprivation Due Tomorrow May 12, 2022 Lexa Graham
Physics Renowned Physicist Kidnapped And Forced To Write Sequel To His Thesis By Crazed Superfan April 20, 2022 Rob Ito
Biology Wow! This Newly Discovered Dinosaur Was Just Elected Nation’s Youngest Senator April 17, 2022 Ben Bishop
Biology Funding Hack! This Biologist Named A Recently Discovered Gene “Physiological Relevance” And Immediately Got A Flood Of Grants February 16, 2022 Sophie Letcher
Chemistry Oops! School’s Periodic Table Is Missing All The Newly Discovered Elements And Also Important Ones Like Carbon February 4, 2022 Lexa Graham
Biology Snubbed? Bacteria That Were The Focus Of Student’s Entire Degree Strangely Absent From Thesis Acknowledgements January 6, 2022 Lexa Graham
Astronomy Cosmic Breakthrough? Scientists Now Suspect The Universe Is Expanding Because It’s Trying To Avoid Us November 28, 2021 Annoj Thavalingam
Astronomy Bend In Space Time? The Clock Says 10am, But It Feels Like It’s Time To Go Home November 23, 2021 Joseph Whittle
