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March 21, 2023

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Astronomy

Feminist Heroes! NASA Releases Stunning New Photos Of Mars Without Makeup
Chemistry

Theoretical Physicists Confirm Earth Is Neither Flat Nor Round, But A Series Of Quantized Earth Orbitals
Most cited

Theoretical Physicist Travels Back In Time To Persuade Younger Self To Go Into The Trades
Research

Adorable! This Grad Student Genuinely Thought They’d Get Some Writing Done Over Quarantine
Most cited

Protocol: How To Encrypt Your Lab Notebook Using The Power Of Shitty Handwriting

Aww! Saturn Spends 4 Billionth Year With Ring But No Wedding

Astronomers Admit Pretty Much All Constellations Look Like Penises To Them

February 27, 2023

Quit Quitting? This Line Of Antibiotics Stopped Working!

February 6, 2023

School Marching Band Tries To Boost Crowd’s Energy With Musical Rendition of The Citric Acid Cycle

January 23, 2023

Unlabeled Bottle in Chemistry Lab “Definitely Acid of Some Kind” According to Undergrad Whose Hands Are Burning

November 23, 2022

Hottie Alert! The James Webb Telescope Just Found A New Heavenly Body That Is Absolutely Jacked

November 7, 2022

Latest News & Views

Lonely Perseverance Rover Fires Up Tinder To Begin Search Signs of Martian Love Life

Scientists Confirm Sex With A Neanderthal Would Have Been Fucking Mind-blowing

Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean

Latest Research

Impressive! This Student Has Learned and Forgotten Stats 19 Times

September 26, 2022

Sick Of Reviewer 2’s Harsh Critiques? Wait Til You See What the Users Of Goodreads Think Of Your Manuscript!

August 11, 2022

Protocol: How To Convince Your Date To Come Back To Your Lab Because You Have A Timepoint To Finish

More dnatured

Protocol: How To Use Data Science To Prove Your Roommate Is Slacking On Dishes

February 7, 2021

Pandas Roll in Horse Feces to Keep Warm, Announce Zoo Koalas, Snickering

February 2, 2021

Clinically Depressed Man Can’t Wait to Return to Pre-COVID Lifestyle of Avoiding Human Contact and Rarely Leaving Home

February 1, 2021

Whoopsie! Researcher Accidentally Submits Paper To Science Total Landscaping

November 17, 2020

Lazy Cell Still Gets Mom To Fold Its Proteins

October 18, 2020

Retro! This Hipster Chemist Only Pipettes By Mouth And Now He Is Very Sick

October 5, 2020

Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint

September 28, 2020

Grad Student Desperate For Feedback Thrilled To Receive “K.” From Supervisor After Just 3 Months

September 27, 2020

Whoops! This Research Chemist Forgot To Add “But Not For Drugs” At The End Of Their Google Search And Now They’re On A Watch List

September 15, 2020

Bankrupt Company Forced To Sell Customer’s Data Just To Afford Executive Bonuses

August 27, 2020

Scientific Baby Names To Help Your Newborn Get Noticed By The Ivy League

August 24, 2020

Study Confirms Americans Will Believe Anything Said By People Wearing White Coats, As Long As They’re Not Doctors Or Scientists

August 12, 2020

Aww! This New Line of Bacteria Scented Candles Will Make Your Place Smell Just Like The Warm Room That Hasn’t Been Cleaned In Decades

August 10, 2020

Scientists Agree To Only Play God With Lifeforms That Were Likely To Worship Them Anyways

Open Letter From A Lab Rat: Please Remove The Tumour You Genetically Engineered Into My Anus And Explain Yourselves

How To Power Through A Pandemic Because Capitalism Demands It

Whoa! This New Fluorescent Antibody Is Just As Dim As The Previous One, But Twice As Expensive!

World’s Most Powerful Supercomputer Capable Of Calculating BOOBIES To Seven Digits

Scientists Now Say Diplodocus May Have Evolved Whiplike Tail To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom

Wow! This University Is So Committed To Improving Mental Health It’s Making Student Volunteers Help Each Other For Free

Wow! This Paleontologist Working From Home Just Discovered A New Dinosaur Species With Bare Foot

Queen Bee Executed After Successful Coup By Worker Bees

Wow! Several Videos Showed These Apples Were Bad But Then The Apple Union Was Like, “Nuh Uh,” And Now The Apples Are Tear Gassing Us

Fish File Complaint After Sharp Increase In Trash Dumped Into Their Waters

“We Condemn Racism In All Forms,” Says University Founded By Racists That Still Has Buildings Named After Notorious Racists

Epidemiologists Sound Alarm About Drastic Increase In “Disappearing Spine Disease” Currently Ravaging Elected Officials

Local Sharks Disappointed To Learn Beaches Weren’t Closed Because Of Them

Terrified Scientists Discover Colossal Squid’s Even Bigger Ancestor: Absolute Unit Squid

Aww! FOX Just Donated Millions Of “The Masked Singer” Costumes To Some Confused Hospital Staff

Uh Oh! Scientists Warn Of Fierce New Drag Queen Bees Here To Slay The Competition (And You)

Scientists Fear That Society Is Unprepared For Imminent Post-Covid-19 Orgy

HGTV Announces Even Tinier House Hunters Spin-Off Featuring All-Hermit Crab Cast

Quantum Physicist Creates Super Colander To Strain Away Excess Particles

Exasperated Health Officials Move to Rebrand Every Fruit and Vegetable as Superfoods

Genius? This Lab Is Funded Entirely By Cashing In Life Insurance Policies On Lab Rats

God Not Sure How to Tell Humanity That E. Coli Is The Species Made in His Own Image

Most cited

Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint

Great White Shark Finally Acknowledges Its Great White Privilege

God Not Sure How to Tell Humanity That E. Coli Is The Species Made in His Own Image

Help! My Advisor Said They Were “Just Going Out For A Pack Of Smokes” And Now They’re On Sabbatical For A Year

Latest Issue

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Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean

March 2, 2021
How To Power Through Seasonal Depression Because Capitalism Demands It

January 19, 2020
QUIZ: Should We Try To Solve The Climate Crisis Or Just Let A Few People Make As Much Money As Possible In The Little Time We Have Left?

November 10, 2019
Wow! This Overachieving Academic Published AND Perished

February 4, 2020
Wow! This Paleontologist Working From Home Just Discovered A New Dinosaur Species With Bare Foot

July 15, 2020
Protocol: How To Get A Bigger Tax Return By Naming Your Bacteria As Dependents

April 25, 2021
Alcoholic Goldfish Drinks To Forget Harrowing Last Four Seconds

June 20, 2019
Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint

September 28, 2020
Forensic Science Prodigy Pronounces Man “Hella Dead”

March 23, 2019
Cool! This Bottle Of Reagent Has Been In The Lab So Long It Just Received Tenure

May 9, 2020
Protocol: How To Passive-Aggressively Let Undergrads Know There Is A CORRECT Way To Take Pipette Tips From The Box

June 12, 2020
Help! My Advisor Said They Were “Just Going Out For A Pack Of Smokes” And Now They’re On Sabbatical For A Year

January 20, 2020
Success! Student Aces Thesis Defense After Harshest Committee Member Can’t Figure Out How To Unmute Mic

April 14, 2020
Theoretical Physicist Travels Back In Time To Persuade Younger Self To Go Into The Trades

October 1, 2019

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dnatured is a satirical scientific journal with impact factor 69. We strive to publish the most paper cutting scientific research, protocols and news.

Copyright 2019

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