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September 24, 2023

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Biology

Forensic Science Prodigy Pronounces Man “Hella Dead”
Environment

Yas Queen! Climate Scientists Say We Should Prepare For An Entire Hot Girl Century!!!
Research

Researcher Excited For Decades Of Research To Be Completely Misinterpreted By Media
Biology

Scientist Falling For The Very Virus He Swore To Destroy
Biology

Lazy Cell Still Gets Mom To Fold Its Proteins

10 Mild Inconveniences To Wish On That Researcher Who Beat You Out On That Grant

September 15, 2023

Killer Asteroid’s Lawyer Gets Charges Reduced To Meteoroid Manslaughter

September 12, 2023

Savvy Grad Student Rejects Own Paper to Save Time

September 7, 2023

Alien From Venus Evaporates After One Minute In Phoenix, Arizona

August 24, 2023

Awesome! These Cell Cultures Waited Until Friday at 5pm to Need Passaging

Termite Trying To Lose Weight Packs Tiny Home For Lunch

Latest News & Views

Hottie Alert! The James Webb Telescope Just Found A New Heavenly Body That Is Absolutely Jacked

November 7, 2022

Cool! Snakes Tired of Being Poached for Boots Are Evolving Skin To Look Cheap and Tasteless

Experimental Psychology Professor Assigns 500 Page Essay On Sleep Deprivation Due Tomorrow

Latest Research

Savvy Grad Student Rejects Own Paper to Save Time

September 7, 2023

Awesome! These Cell Cultures Waited Until Friday at 5pm to Need Passaging

Nice! Graduate Health Plan Removed Dental But Promises Something Called a “Fitbit Therapist”

More dnatured

Wow! This Newly Discovered Dinosaur Was Just Elected Nation’s Youngest Senator

Lonely Perseverance Rover Fires Up Tinder To Begin Search Signs of Martian Love Life

Scientists Confirm Sex With A Neanderthal Would Have Been Fucking Mind-blowing

Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean

Protocol: How To Use Data Science To Prove Your Roommate Is Slacking On Dishes

February 7, 2021

Pandas Roll in Horse Feces to Keep Warm, Announce Zoo Koalas, Snickering

February 2, 2021

Clinically Depressed Man Can’t Wait to Return to Pre-COVID Lifestyle of Avoiding Human Contact and Rarely Leaving Home

February 1, 2021

Whoopsie! Researcher Accidentally Submits Paper To Science Total Landscaping

November 17, 2020

Lazy Cell Still Gets Mom To Fold Its Proteins

October 18, 2020

Retro! This Hipster Chemist Only Pipettes By Mouth And Now He Is Very Sick

October 5, 2020

Grad Student Desperate For Feedback Thrilled To Receive “K.” From Supervisor After Just 3 Months

September 27, 2020

Whoops! This Research Chemist Forgot To Add “But Not For Drugs” At The End Of Their Google Search And Now They’re On A Watch List

September 15, 2020

Bankrupt Company Forced To Sell Customer’s Data Just To Afford Executive Bonuses

August 27, 2020

Scientific Baby Names To Help Your Newborn Get Noticed By The Ivy League

August 24, 2020

Study Confirms Americans Will Believe Anything Said By People Wearing White Coats, As Long As They’re Not Doctors Or Scientists

August 12, 2020

Aww! This New Line of Bacteria Scented Candles Will Make Your Place Smell Just Like The Warm Room That Hasn’t Been Cleaned In Decades

August 10, 2020

Scientists Agree To Only Play God With Lifeforms That Were Likely To Worship Them Anyways

Open Letter From A Lab Rat: Please Remove The Tumour You Genetically Engineered Into My Anus And Explain Yourselves

How To Power Through A Pandemic Because Capitalism Demands It

Whoa! This New Fluorescent Antibody Is Just As Dim As The Previous One, But Twice As Expensive!

World’s Most Powerful Supercomputer Capable Of Calculating BOOBIES To Seven Digits

Scientists Now Say Diplodocus May Have Evolved Whiplike Tail To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom

Wow! This University Is So Committed To Improving Mental Health It’s Making Student Volunteers Help Each Other For Free

Wow! This Paleontologist Working From Home Just Discovered A New Dinosaur Species With Bare Foot

Queen Bee Executed After Successful Coup By Worker Bees

Wow! Several Videos Showed These Apples Were Bad But Then The Apple Union Was Like, “Nuh Uh,” And Now The Apples Are Tear Gassing Us

Fish File Complaint After Sharp Increase In Trash Dumped Into Their Waters

“We Condemn Racism In All Forms,” Says University Founded By Racists That Still Has Buildings Named After Notorious Racists

Epidemiologists Sound Alarm About Drastic Increase In “Disappearing Spine Disease” Currently Ravaging Elected Officials

Local Sharks Disappointed To Learn Beaches Weren’t Closed Because Of Them

Terrified Scientists Discover Colossal Squid’s Even Bigger Ancestor: Absolute Unit Squid

Aww! FOX Just Donated Millions Of “The Masked Singer” Costumes To Some Confused Hospital Staff

Uh Oh! Scientists Warn Of Fierce New Drag Queen Bees Here To Slay The Competition (And You)

Scientists Fear That Society Is Unprepared For Imminent Post-Covid-19 Orgy

HGTV Announces Even Tinier House Hunters Spin-Off Featuring All-Hermit Crab Cast

Quantum Physicist Creates Super Colander To Strain Away Excess Particles

Most cited

Alcoholic Goldfish Drinks To Forget Harrowing Last Four Seconds

Protocol: How To Get A Cute, Mid-Tier Journal To Notice You

6 Ways To Say ‘I Don’t Have Any New Data’ At Your Next Lab Meeting

QUIZ: Should We Try To Solve The Climate Crisis Or Just Let A Few People Make As Much Money As Possible In The Little Time We Have Left?

Latest Issue

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Exhausted Ecologists Announce New Policy Of Only Saving Species That Spark Joy

October 10, 2019
Yas Queen! Climate Scientists Say We Should Prepare For An Entire Hot Girl Century!!!

March 8, 2020
New Book On Dunning-Kruger Effect Includes Complementary Mirror

April 6, 2021
Protocol: How To Get A Cute, Mid-Tier Journal To Notice You

February 2, 2020
QUIZ: Should We Try To Solve The Climate Crisis Or Just Let A Few People Make As Much Money As Possible In The Little Time We Have Left?

November 10, 2019
Hospitals Beg Public To Stop Panic Buying Medical Ventilators

March 15, 2020
Help! My Advisor Said They Were “Just Going Out For A Pack Of Smokes” And Now They’re On Sabbatical For A Year

January 20, 2020
“Pretty Sure I Don’t Belong Here” Says Most Impressive Line On Your CV

April 1, 2020
Climate Scientists Say Rising Sea Levels Are Either Caused By Climate Change Or A Bunch Of People Getting Into The Water At The Same Time

June 5, 2023
Feminist Heroes! NASA Releases Stunning New Photos Of Mars Without Makeup

April 7, 2019
Protocol: How To Convince Your Date To Come Back To Your Lab Because You Have A Timepoint To Finish

June 5, 2023
Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint

June 5, 2023
How To Power Through A Pandemic Because Capitalism Demands It

July 24, 2020
New Climate Change Solution? Man Suggests Flipping Earth To Cold Side

February 4, 2019

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dnatured is a satirical scientific journal with impact factor 69. We strive to publish the most paper cutting scientific research, protocols and news.

Copyright 2019

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