Chemistry Theoretical Physicists Confirm Earth Is Neither Flat Nor Round, But A Series Of Quantized Earth Orbitals
Astronomy Astronomers Admit Pretty Much All Constellations Look Like Penises To Them February 27, 2023
Biology School Marching Band Tries To Boost Crowd’s Energy With Musical Rendition of The Citric Acid Cycle January 23, 2023
Chemistry Unlabeled Bottle in Chemistry Lab “Definitely Acid of Some Kind” According to Undergrad Whose Hands Are Burning November 23, 2022
Astronomy Hottie Alert! The James Webb Telescope Just Found A New Heavenly Body That Is Absolutely Jacked November 7, 2022
Astronomy Lonely Perseverance Rover Fires Up Tinder To Begin Search Signs of Martian Love Life March 18, 2021
Biology Scientists Confirm Sex With A Neanderthal Would Have Been Fucking Mind-blowing March 15, 2021
Engineering Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean March 2, 2021
Research Sick Of Reviewer 2’s Harsh Critiques? Wait Til You See What the Users Of Goodreads Think Of Your Manuscript! August 11, 2022
Biology Protocol: How To Convince Your Date To Come Back To Your Lab Because You Have A Timepoint To Finish August 1, 2022
Engineering Protocol: How To Use Data Science To Prove Your Roommate Is Slacking On Dishes February 7, 2021
Medicine Clinically Depressed Man Can’t Wait to Return to Pre-COVID Lifestyle of Avoiding Human Contact and Rarely Leaving Home February 1, 2021
News & Views Whoopsie! Researcher Accidentally Submits Paper To Science Total Landscaping November 17, 2020
Biology Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint September 28, 2020
Most cited Grad Student Desperate For Feedback Thrilled To Receive “K.” From Supervisor After Just 3 Months September 27, 2020
Chemistry Whoops! This Research Chemist Forgot To Add “But Not For Drugs” At The End Of Their Google Search And Now They’re On A Watch List September 15, 2020
Engineering Bankrupt Company Forced To Sell Customer’s Data Just To Afford Executive Bonuses August 27, 2020
Medicine Study Confirms Americans Will Believe Anything Said By People Wearing White Coats, As Long As They’re Not Doctors Or Scientists August 12, 2020
Biology Aww! This New Line of Bacteria Scented Candles Will Make Your Place Smell Just Like The Warm Room That Hasn’t Been Cleaned In Decades August 10, 2020
Biology Scientists Agree To Only Play God With Lifeforms That Were Likely To Worship Them Anyways August 5, 2020
Medicine Open Letter From A Lab Rat: Please Remove The Tumour You Genetically Engineered Into My Anus And Explain Yourselves July 27, 2020
Biology Whoa! This New Fluorescent Antibody Is Just As Dim As The Previous One, But Twice As Expensive! July 22, 2020
Engineering World’s Most Powerful Supercomputer Capable Of Calculating BOOBIES To Seven Digits July 22, 2020
Biology Scientists Now Say Diplodocus May Have Evolved Whiplike Tail To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom July 20, 2020
Medicine Wow! This University Is So Committed To Improving Mental Health It’s Making Student Volunteers Help Each Other For Free July 16, 2020
Biology Wow! This Paleontologist Working From Home Just Discovered A New Dinosaur Species With Bare Foot July 15, 2020
Biology Wow! Several Videos Showed These Apples Were Bad But Then The Apple Union Was Like, “Nuh Uh,” And Now The Apples Are Tear Gassing Us June 11, 2020
Most cited “We Condemn Racism In All Forms,” Says University Founded By Racists That Still Has Buildings Named After Notorious Racists June 9, 2020
Medicine Epidemiologists Sound Alarm About Drastic Increase In “Disappearing Spine Disease” Currently Ravaging Elected Officials June 7, 2020
Biology Terrified Scientists Discover Colossal Squid’s Even Bigger Ancestor: Absolute Unit Squid May 22, 2020
Medicine Aww! FOX Just Donated Millions Of “The Masked Singer” Costumes To Some Confused Hospital Staff May 19, 2020
Biology Uh Oh! Scientists Warn Of Fierce New Drag Queen Bees Here To Slay The Competition (And You) May 18, 2020
Biology Exasperated Health Officials Move to Rebrand Every Fruit and Vegetable as Superfoods April 28, 2020
Biology Genius? This Lab Is Funded Entirely By Cashing In Life Insurance Policies On Lab Rats April 27, 2020
Biology God Not Sure How to Tell Humanity That E. Coli Is The Species Made in His Own Image April 22, 2020
Help! My Advisor Said They Were “Just Going Out For A Pack Of Smokes” And Now They’re On Sabbatical For A Year