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June 5, 2025

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Astronomy

Feminist Heroes! NASA Releases Stunning New Photos Of Mars Without Makeup
Biology

Forensic Science Prodigy Pronounces Man “Hella Dead”
Most cited

Theoretical Physicist Travels Back In Time To Persuade Younger Self To Go Into The Trades
Medicine

First Year Psych Student Confidently Diagnoses Friend With Disorder She Just Learned Existed
Environment

Yas Queen! Climate Scientists Say We Should Prepare For An Entire Hot Girl Century!!!

Genius? This Lab Is Funded Entirely By Cashing In Life Insurance Policies On Lab Rats

February 10, 2025

Habitat Expansion? Graduate Students Found Living in a Cave Near Campus

February 6, 2025

Whoa! This New Fluorescent Antibody Is Just As Dim As The Previous One, But Twice As Expensive!

January 1, 2025

Bold Hypothesis of “This Will Totally Be My Year!” Not Supported By The Data

January 1, 2025

Astronomers Warn That Grad Student’s “Papers to Read” Folder Is Gathering So Much Density That It Could Collapse Into A Black Hole

November 16, 2024

17-Year-Old Lab Student Somehow Trusted With Two-Million Dollar Machine

November 14, 2024

“I only read the pre-lab five minutes ago, I don’t know how this thing works at all. It’s the size of a rhino and apparently pretty fragile.”

Latest News & Views

Institutional Animal Welfare Group Proposes Humane Endpoints for Ph.D. Students

September 19, 2024

Teens Caught At House Party Getting Vaccinated Out Of Their Fucking Minds

September 16, 2024

“We knew something was up when we saw used hypodermic needles all over the lawn,” said police spokeswoman Carol O’Rourke.

Hottie Alert! The James Webb Telescope Just Found A New Heavenly Body That Is Absolutely Jacked

September 14, 2024

Latest Research

Habitat Expansion? Graduate Students Found Living in a Cave Near Campus

February 6, 2025

Bold Hypothesis of “This Will Totally Be My Year!” Not Supported By The Data

January 1, 2025

Astronomers Warn That Grad Student’s “Papers to Read” Folder Is Gathering So Much Density That It Could Collapse Into A Black Hole

November 16, 2024

More dnatured

Marine Biologists Confirm Mermaid That Washed Up On Shore Had Stomach Full Of Thing-A-Ma-Bobs

September 13, 2024

God Not Sure How to Tell Humanity That E. Coli Is The Species Made in His Own Image

Vengeful Gods Growing Increasingly Frustrated That Climate Change Receiving All The Credit For Their Wrath And Smiting

Yas Queen! Climate Scientists Say We Should Prepare For An Entire Hot Girl Century!!!

Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint

Baby Scientists Discussing Possibility Of Mommy Just Being Behind Hands

Lab Libs! Researchers Have Uncovered A Link Between [Something You Love] And [The Worst Thing You Can Think Of]

Sparrow Bragging About T-Rex Ancestry Actually Descended From Some Bitch-Ass Lizard

A local sparrow was stunned after a DNA test revealed that 90% of his genetics are from something called a “Tonga Ground Skink” and not from a Tyrannosaurus rex, as his family has claimed for generations.

QUIZ: Should We Try To Solve The Climate Crisis Or Just Let A Few People Make As Much Money As Possible In The Little Time We Have Left?

Mitochondria Confirm They’re Also The Power Bottom Of The Cell

Super Bacteria Mock New Antibiotics By Spelling Out “That All You Got?” Under Microscope

The super bacteria call the microbiologist’s attempts at assassinating their colony “pathetic”

Aww! This New Line of Bacteria Scented Candles Will Make Your Place Smell Just Like The Warm Room That Hasn’t Been Cleaned In Decades

Quiet Quitting? This Line Of Antibiotics Stopped Working!

Is It A Mass Extinction Or Is God Calling All The Cuties Home?

Killer Asteroid’s Lawyer Gets Charges Reduced To Meteoroid Manslaughter

September 12, 2023

Alien From Venus Evaporates After One Minute In Phoenix, Arizona

August 24, 2023

Awesome! These Cell Cultures Waited Until Friday at 5pm to Need Passaging

Cool! Snakes Tired of Being Poached for Boots Are Evolving Skin To Look Cheap and Tasteless

Experimental Psychology Professor Assigns 500 Page Essay On Sleep Deprivation Due Tomorrow

Wow! This Newly Discovered Dinosaur Was Just Elected Nation’s Youngest Senator

Lonely Perseverance Rover Fires Up Tinder To Begin Search Signs of Martian Love Life

Scientists Confirm Sex With A Neanderthal Would Have Been Fucking Mind-blowing

Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean

Protocol: How To Use Data Science To Prove Your Roommate Is Slacking On Dishes

February 7, 2021

Pandas Roll in Horse Feces to Keep Warm, Announce Zoo Koalas, Snickering

February 2, 2021

Clinically Depressed Man Can’t Wait to Return to Pre-COVID Lifestyle of Avoiding Human Contact and Rarely Leaving Home

February 1, 2021

Whoopsie! Researcher Accidentally Submits Paper To Science Total Landscaping

November 17, 2020

Lazy Cell Still Gets Mom To Fold Its Proteins

October 18, 2020

Retro! This Hipster Chemist Only Pipettes By Mouth And Now He Is Very Sick

October 5, 2020

Grad Student Desperate For Feedback Thrilled To Receive “K.” From Supervisor After Just 3 Months

September 27, 2020

Whoops! This Research Chemist Forgot To Add “But Not For Drugs” At The End Of Their Google Search And Now They’re On A Watch List

September 15, 2020

Bankrupt Company Forced To Sell Customer’s Data Just To Afford Executive Bonuses

August 27, 2020

Scientific Baby Names To Help Your Newborn Get Noticed By The Ivy League

August 24, 2020

Study Confirms Americans Will Believe Anything Said By People Wearing White Coats, As Long As They’re Not Doctors Or Scientists

August 12, 2020

Scientists Agree To Only Play God With Lifeforms That Were Likely To Worship Them Anyways

Open Letter From A Lab Rat: Please Remove The Tumour You Genetically Engineered Into My Anus And Explain Yourselves

Most cited

Great White Shark Finally Acknowledges Its Great White Privilege

Exhausted Ecologists Announce New Policy Of Only Saving Species That Spark Joy

How To Power Through A Pandemic Because Capitalism Demands It

Climate Scientists Say Rising Sea Levels Are Either Caused By Climate Change Or A Bunch Of People Getting Into The Water At The Same Time

Latest Issue

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6 Ways To Say ‘I Don’t Have Any New Data’ At Your Next Lab Meeting

July 21, 2024
Amid Pandemic, City Rats Petition Government For Some Stimulus Garbage

May 25, 2020
Protocol: How To Convince Your Date To Come Back To Your Lab Because You Have A Timepoint To Finish

April 19, 2024
Feminist Heroes! NASA Releases Stunning New Photos Of Mars Without Makeup

April 7, 2019
Hospitals Beg Public To Stop Panic Buying Medical Ventilators

March 15, 2020
Protocol: How To Passive-Aggressively Let Undergrads Know There Is A CORRECT Way To Take Pipette Tips From The Box

June 14, 2024
New Climate Change Solution? Man Suggests Flipping Earth To Cold Side

February 4, 2019
How To Power Through Seasonal Depression Because Capitalism Demands It

January 19, 2020
Alcoholic Goldfish Drinks To Forget Harrowing Last Four Seconds

June 20, 2019
Great White Shark Finally Acknowledges Its Great White Privilege

May 23, 2019
Wow! This Overachieving Academic Published AND Perished

February 4, 2020
Forensic Science Prodigy Pronounces Man “Hella Dead”

March 23, 2019
Cosmic Breakthrough? Scientists Now Suspect The Universe Is Expanding Because It’s Trying To Avoid Us

November 28, 2021
Incredible! These Military Engineers Created An Invisibility Cloak Made Of Women Over 40

February 14, 2019

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dnatured is a satirical scientific journal with impact factor 69. We strive to publish the most paper cutting scientific research, protocols and news.

Copyright 2019

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