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Astronomers Warn That Grad Student’s “Papers to Read” Folder Is Gathering So Much Density That It Could Collapse Into A Black Hole
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Biology
Marine Biologists Confirm Mermaid That Washed Up On Shore Had Stomach Full Of Thing-A-Ma-Bobs

Medicine
Lab Libs! Researchers Have Uncovered A Link Between [Something You Love] And [The Worst Thing You Can Think Of]

Chemistry